Is it normal that the guy i am dating avoids eating out?

I started dating this guy on the first date he bought a sharing platter, I offered to chip in, but he paid up. The second date I paid for most of it. Come date number 3 he asked me if I was sure I wanted dinner (we met at 6pm) it was around 8pm I was hungry. We paid for our own share. On the next date he asked to split the bill. He earns a lot more than me. I would hate him to pay for everything but treating a bit wouldn't go a miss. Am I unrealistic? Is this normal behaviour in London when dating.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 14 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • What's wrong with a man saving some money. Go to the grocery store where there's deals and cook a nice dinner. He'll appreciate that!

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    • We've just started dating I am hardly going to go back to his place. Also I want to split most of time would just be nice to occassionally be treated, changing career direction. When I start earning I can treat him but at moment I am earning min in terms of wages.

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  • Because eating out is a waste of money. I don't know when it became a norm to buy readymade food instead of making your own. Maybe that's why the population is so unhealthy.

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    • Actually to some extent I agree a meal out can be around half or even all of your calories for the day! When I eat out I do healthy fast-food e.g. Leon or freshly cooked street food with lots of veg. Those options cost a lot less.

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  • Chivalry is gone, then again maybe he’s hedging his bets on the relationship. After the first date I would take on the bill. Maybe he thinks that buying dinner or the entire bill makes you think that he thinks he’s entitled to you. Guys are a bit more complicated then what we a given credit for.

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  • We decided to alternating paying.

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  • Does he eat you out?

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  • Think you're right it is normal. Have just been bought up to treat people, if they are earning less. I've had friends who have been on benefits who I've treated to a drink/snack when I've had some temp work. I think tbh it's my upbringing and a mismatch in values.

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  • I am very surprised based on his job and age. It's likely a cultural thing though.

    I am not sure if "going Dutch" is the norm in UK, but I would ask some local friends how they normally do. 😉

    Personally, I would be a bit turned off, but I'm brought up in a different culture.

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  • I think that it depends a lot on age and culture.

    What age group are we talking about? If he is in his early/mid 20's or younger, it's completely understandable.

    If he is in his 30's or older, I would be surprised that he is holding back on the bill, as most men are established at that age.

    It also depends on the country. I am not sure about UK, but in my country the guy generally pays.

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  • Depends on you.
    What are you comfortable with?
    Knowone here can solve it for you.
    BUT, it's been said all women are
    Whores, it's only a question of payment.
    An honest prostitute just asks for cash up front.
    ' respectable ' girls ask for the same cash.
    But spent on dinners, etc.
    If you want to use him, go ahead.
    If you respect yourself and demand respect.
    Pay your way.
    I've done both, just depends on the situation.
    He pays, you don't put out.
    You're a cock tease.

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