Is it normal that suicide and death is interesting to me?
I have recently realised that I'm a fairly dark individual, i hide behind a false happy personality that i faked years ago so that i could help make friends in school (I'm 20 years old now btw), which has sort of become part of me, and realised that i think casually about suicide all the time, over the smallest things, i even dream about different ways of doing it at night. (however i don't believe that i would ever do it, the thoughts just cross my mind) I get interested by stories on the internet about suicides and murderers and hope there is footage, i know that it sounds bad here but i was just wondering, is it normal that i think these things? or should i talk to a professional about it? i mean surely others must be like me,
P.s sorry its so long