Is it normal that no man has ever bought me a drink?

I'm a 34 y/o female. No man has ever bought me a drink or given me his number.

Is It Normal?
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  • -real life is not like the movies

    -it's not as common these days since women typically have their own money now

    -'free drinks' aren't often really free, anyway...the sender typically wants something in return. Some just want your attention and are not dangerous (however, maybe annoying) but a lot want more, feel you owe them, will get abusive, scary, violent or even drug the drink and do who knows what to you.



    -the type of bar you are in makes a difference. Some environments are more conducive hook-ups/intending to meet someone than others...like a club or hotel bar vs a quieter neighborhood pub. Risk of rejection plays in too. A busy bar is safer to take a risk vs a quiet one where a person would feel more embarrassed if they got the brush-off. A pass through or touristy place is less risky also.

    I've bartended at a lot of (smaller) bars and 99% drinks bought for others were bought for friends, people who make a big impression/join in on a group/strike up a conversation (make a new friend) or a bf/gf/so. Orrrrr...some women would outright ask men to buy them drinks being all flirty, which I think is trashy and it's also dangerous (some men will try to 'cash in' on their 'investment' and it can get dangerous, even deadly). I can only recall a couple times in over a decade where a guy bought a drink for a random girl.

    Different story in a strip club though! Drinks bought all the time for girls but the intent is to impress, get her tipsy and get laid. Those drinks aren't free! It's not exactly a nice gesture most of the time when the whole point in doing it is to buy/rent a person or get them so drunk that they can take advantage.

    TL;DR, you've romanticized this too much, movies aren't reality, it's not 1950 and if you really want a drink bought for you, go to a more hook-up-ish type of bar. Just be prepared to deal with anything from annoyance to verbal/physical abuse or worse if you and the guy aren't on the same page.

    Oh, and you can make a move too, you know. Just don't be a creep or get weird/violent/rapey yourself.

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  • You are just ugly 🙂

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  • That's a fuckin' ridiculous convention and a creepy one since the guy just wants to get laid and giving something to you for "free" kind of pushes you to pay him attention. That shit has happened to me (both with a girl and some men) and I am a man (straight, besides). It's been really uncomfortable for me

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  • The no drink thing is normal but the no number thing isnt in my experience. Although really guys ask for my digits more than offer theirs. I never give it and I wouldn't accept a drink. As the other poster said they aren't free.

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  • Yep, normal.

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