Is it normal that my boyfriend always asks me to pay when we go out?

5 Comments

My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months now and we have always had the standard of keeping everything 50/50. As of recently, however, I feel as though I'm contributing 90 while he contributes 10. Everytime we go out, we will joke, " so you're paying, right?!" And I just kinda submit, feeling like if I say no, I'm not being generous. He has car insurance, car payments, internet costs, debt racked up on his credit cards from buying stuff for his car, and he loves driving so he is constantly having to buy gas. On top of that he practically never eats at home so his food cost is high too. We are both students and he makes ~$350-400 a month while I've been making ~$20-80 (depending on if I work Saturday). I would work more, but my school load is very difficult and I can't manage to keep good grades otherwise. When I know I can't afford going out, I will tell him. He then will say that he will pay. However, things change when we get there and he claims he "forgot his wallet" or that he drove so I should pay for whatever we are getting. Lately I've been just trying to avoid paying by saying immnot hungry, even if I'm starving, just so I won't rack up debt cause of him. I believe part of the problem is that he knows I have a good amount of money saved up for when I go away to school (I'm at a community college right now) and so I can afford it. I'm beginning to become a bit resentful though because he, as a guy, seems to eat double what I eat plus he gets alcoholic drinks when we go out and I end up paying $30-$40 bills. On top of all this, he never got me a Christmas present or birthday present cause he said he couldn't afford it. Come to think of it, I think the most he has ever gotten me for a gift was a chocolate bar. I'm sad because he is a sweet guy, but I can't take the financial burden anymore. I feel like I'm a million times more generous than he is and it hurts when people ask me what he got me for my birthday and I have to say nothing. Please help:( what should I do at this point?

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Comments ( 5 )
  • bubsy
    6 years ago

    I'm not sure if you're a million times more generous, but you and every woman are far better at keeping track of debts owed than he is. If you're looking for an excuse to leave or even if you aren't, money is always a safe bet.

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  • WellThereYaGo
    6 years ago

    Leave him NOW!

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  • JonathanOo
    6 years ago

    You definitely need to talk to him. Maybe he doesn't realize that it's putting more strain on you but he needs to be more considerate. Doesn't mean you just have to dump him immediately though..... its not like he is physically abusing you

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    He's a jerk, and user! Get rid of him, because he's using you for your money, so he's actually not a sweet guy! His words may be sweet, but his actions are not. He's proven himself to be a scumbag, now you have a choice to make.

    There are plenty of women who are gold diggers, but there are also guys who use women for money, and it looks like you just found one. Get rid of him before he sucks you dry, honey! You can bet your ass that he'll disappear when you run out of money. It's time to cut your losses.

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  • NU5762
    6 years ago

    No, it isn't normal. My wife is much richer than me, but I keep paying the bill when we go out. Of course, I pay for the family groceries and bills. Tell him to be a man!

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