Is it normal that I want to kill my classmates

Is it normal that when I'm in school I get angry fast then in my head I think of ways about how I would slit everyone's throut or slowly cut them then pull all their hair out and eat their oragans but when that happens I always laugh. When I laugh people ask me what I'm laughing about so I lie and tell them I was remembering some old joke. I would always write my plans about how I would slowly hunt all of my classmates down and very slowly cut them and keep them alive as long as I can then kill them and laugh so hard over their limp body until tears are in my eyes. When I get angry I would always be violent so that's why after my grandpa died I would practice how to put a poker face on and keep my emotions covered. It worked for a while until my partner the one that sits next to my desk started to be racist to me. I tried so very hard to ignore it but then he took it way to far one day and he threw my stuff on the floor but I laughed so hard then he said I was mental but on those words I broke I punched his face and it felt so good so I started to beat him up and I felt so good after that. I didn't get in trouble because the camera in the hallways showed that he touched my stuff first. Sometimes I have these days where I feel like staving and cutting someone but I don't do it. I had a punching bag that I used whenever I got mad. When I got mad I would kick it, punch it, but mostly cut it and stab it. Because I stabed it I would always have to sew it back. I had a fake friend and I knew she was fake because when she saw me beating up the punching bag she kept telling me that girls aren't supposed to be strong but I ended up telling her that the reason girls weren't strong was because they didn't try.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 8 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • You are one sick little puppy! You need the assistance of a professional help fast, your friends in class are not as weak as you perceive them to be!

    Be very careful that they don`t stab you first!

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  • I know some good white people willing to help you with that...

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  • Well Eric, you're a step of the way there. Now all you need is a Dylan. (P.S, not normal. I'd recommend getting some assistance, in all seriousness.)

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  • Welp, that doesn't seem to be easy being you. I don't know what to say, but this indeed does not seem normal. On the other hand, I myself have the fantasy to stab or kill someone, but it's different, way different because it has nothing to do with hatred. Do you think it is because of your classmates or because of you ? Do you have problems with everyone or only with them ? This is probably where the problem lies.

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  • My only issue here is with the eating organs part... it's a bit far off base, don't you think?

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  • Please find someone to talk to about your urges. It's good that you've so far restrained yourself from doing anything serious, but what you say is worrying.

    It is normal to get angry with people who annoy us. It's also normal to have fantasies about physically hurting people who hurt us. But your fascination with knives takes things up a couple of very dangerous notches.

    Even if you find it difficult to understand why the people who annoy and anger you act as they do, bear in mind that pulling a knife on them would have serious consequences for you. Using the knife could very easily completely mess up your life as well as your victim's.

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