Is it normal that I want to kill my classmates
Is it normal that when I'm in school I get angry fast then in my head I think of ways about how I would slit everyone's throut or slowly cut them then pull all their hair out and eat their oragans but when that happens I always laugh. When I laugh people ask me what I'm laughing about so I lie and tell them I was remembering some old joke. I would always write my plans about how I would slowly hunt all of my classmates down and very slowly cut them and keep them alive as long as I can then kill them and laugh so hard over their limp body until tears are in my eyes. When I get angry I would always be violent so that's why after my grandpa died I would practice how to put a poker face on and keep my emotions covered. It worked for a while until my partner the one that sits next to my desk started to be racist to me. I tried so very hard to ignore it but then he took it way to far one day and he threw my stuff on the floor but I laughed so hard then he said I was mental but on those words I broke I punched his face and it felt so good so I started to beat him up and I felt so good after that. I didn't get in trouble because the camera in the hallways showed that he touched my stuff first. Sometimes I have these days where I feel like staving and cutting someone but I don't do it. I had a punching bag that I used whenever I got mad. When I got mad I would kick it, punch it, but mostly cut it and stab it. Because I stabed it I would always have to sew it back. I had a fake friend and I knew she was fake because when she saw me beating up the punching bag she kept telling me that girls aren't supposed to be strong but I ended up telling her that the reason girls weren't strong was because they didn't try.