Is it normal that i want to be a robot/cyborg irl?
Trigger warnings for self harm.
Also apologies in advance for probably sounding like an unstable maniac.
So.. A bit of backstory: I've been fascinated with robotics my whole life. For as long as I can remember I always wanted to be a scientist or inventor, and a lot of the media I enjoyed growing up (up to and including my current early adulthood) was filled with characters like Wall-E, Johnny Five and the Iron Giant. I guess I have a bit of obsession, looking back on it.
Anyway... Recently in my life I've been in a really bad, depressive and suicidal state. I won't get into details, but self harm was involved, along with a sense of esteem low self esteem and distorted sense of self, which ties into the final bit of my recap: I've realized since 2016 that I was transgender.
Now, with all that put together (Robot obsession, self-harm tendencies, gender dysphoria), is it normal that for the last few days I've been having an overwhelming desire to have all four of my limbs surgically removed and replaced with prosthetics? I am aware that Body Integrity Disorder is a condition that exists, though I never thought I'd fit that description until now. I also already have preexisting dysphoric feelings and a history of self-harm, which is why I brought them up.
tl:dr - I want to cut off my arms and legs and replace them with prosthetics, because I literally want to be a robot. Is it normal?