Is it normal that i'm not a christian?

65 Comments

I come from a Christian background and it's been recent that I decided that I don't really need to go to church or pray every time for anything or try to spread the gospal to be a good person. Everyone my family and friends people I grew up with aren't happy with my choice and many are trying to make me reconsider others don't want to have anything to do with me. Not only that they keep saying that I'm evil for the path that I chose to walk and that I will be condemned to hell. they also said that my life will be empty and that I will never be a true good person unless I let God back into my heart. I am starting to hate Christianity because I now see that it creates a cult like mentality and is very oppressive I never said that I hated God but they assumed that I did now I am starting to hate him. I don't know how to feel I am very angry is this normal?

No 5
Yes 40
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Comments ( 65 )
  • Holzman_67
    5 years ago

    My mum has very private beliefs and I respect her for it
    My dad on the other hand is a very loud atheist and although I’m an atheist myself I just feel like you oughta be respectful of the individual and their relationship to faith

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  • Nikclaire
    5 years ago

    Just because someone is a member of a faith doesn't mean they are perfect. What you are describing aren't tenets of Christianity but human fragility and ignorance.

    Just be true to yourself and pray for those who are judging you.

    Your relationship with God is no one else's business.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    normal

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  • Protagoras
    5 years ago

    Religion is bullshit, it's 2019 it's time the world accepted there's no god.

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    • WarriorGene
      5 years ago

      Tell that to a bunch of progressive idiots here and they'll go nuts calling you an islamophobe.

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      • Protagoras
        5 years ago

        Dude, stop posting your stupid ass alt-right bullshit all over this website and read a book... or at least TRY to get some pussy.

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  • wonderwizard123
    5 years ago

    I know how this feels personally. Being agnostic/athiest in the buckle of the bible belt sucks. Keep believing in yourself. Soon you will find the "lightness" of knowing the truth. Or if nothing else you will realize the mental capacity it took to hold the religious belief, and the space you have freed up.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Its normal to lose faith. I lost it slowly as I realised what a waste of time it is. Plus there are very few real Christians around. If God does exist and the Bible is true then most people are going to hell. God must be mildly retarded to send 99% of the worlds population to entire fire. He gives people freewill but then says "oh by the way, if you don't believe my message you're gonna burn forever." What a manipulative POS.

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  • Lestat565
    5 years ago

    It shows what shitty people they are that they would judge you for not continuing to be in their silly cult. Atheist are considered immoral by definition by many people. Not all religious people are like them. Many of my friends are Christian. But religion in general is bad in my eyes. It makes decent people do bad things. It has no logic and punishes you for free thought. If they can so easily throw you away then your better off without them.

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  • Grunewald
    5 years ago

    Sorry - I edited my post. I replied quickly and it didn't say what I wanted it to say.

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  • Ellenna
    5 years ago

    So you don't think OP's family are being very christian, but you support their warnings about the punishment for using his/her own mind? How very christian of you.

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    • Grunewald
      5 years ago

      Anyone who reads my post will be able to see that that's not what I said. But since that post is a bit tl;dr, let us backtrack a little.

      I said that according to the Bible, faith is a personal decision.

      I also said that using hell to intimidate or threaten someone is not a Christian thing to do.

      But if a loved one is at risk of doing something that (as far as you can see) is going cause them great harm, and they can't see that harm, what person in their right mind wouldn't at least want to warn them? Of course Christian parents, if they love their kids, would want their kids to understand what safety they will forfeit, if they forfeit Christ! Of course they would tell them about hell! The same as they would tell them about kidnappers, rapists, murderers and anything or anyone else that could put them in danger.

      There's a right and a wrong way to be concerned about someone's eternal security. But apathy or neglect are not signs of love any more than beating people over the head with threats and fear-mongering are.

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      • Ellenna
        5 years ago

        There's a huge difference between making your children aware of the dangers of kidnappers, rapists and murderers and the dangers of the wrath of a non-existent god who'll condemn them to eternal suffering in a non-existent hell.

        The former is being realistic, the latter if child abuse.

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        • Grunewald
          5 years ago

          Only if God is non-existent - and you as a parent are convinced that he doesn't. Then I agree it would be abuse.
          But if God exists, it's keeping them from a real danger.

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          • Lestat565
            5 years ago

            Why is your god the right god? There are over four thousand religions in the world today yet everyone thinks they are right. Why do yo believe yours is right when you have no more evidence for your belief then any of the other religions

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            • Grunewald
              5 years ago

              When there are four thousand viewpoints on God, how ca you be sure that atheism is right??

              I know God because I have met him.

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      • Lestat565
        5 years ago

        So you think telling a child that if he doesn’t believe in your particular god he’s going to suffer for all eternity in hell isn't child abuse? If hell exists god is not good or loving. What crime could possibly justify a eternity of suffering? And what crime are you guilty of that would send you to that?

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        • SomeEmoLord
          5 years ago

          Being Satan, for one. That is what it was made for. Now they use it as an excuse that "if you do this, this'll happen" when, if you read the bible, you're basically let off scott free as long as you believe in the religion before death

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        • Grunewald
          5 years ago

          There are lots of answers of both sides of the debate. But faith isn't about having the most convincing argument. And we know that a lot of life doesn't make sense or seem fair, even if you take God out of the equation. It's the same world whether you believe God exists or not. And irrespective of what we believe about him, if God is there, then he's there.

          If hell is real, the caring thing is to warn people how to avoid it. Just like if a person is about to walk backwards off a cliff, you warn them. Not by shaming or belittling, or trying to use the cliff to manipulate them. But by saying 'Watch out there's a cliff edge behind you!' As distasteful as he sounds to you (believe me, malaria, mass shootings, Alzheimer's and many, many other things are distasteful to me and I wish I could just disbelieve them out of existence...), if it's dangerous and it's there, we need to protect people from it.

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          • Lestat565
            5 years ago

            The problem is that you have no proof that heaven or hell or god for that matter exists. And for a just and loving god to exist hell cant exist. What’s worse that you believe that your god is a monster or that you don’t understand that you believe that your god is a monster. Hell and the threat of hell is a manipulation. Same as Santa is to make kids behave. Only with Santa your not telling kids that if they don’t behave they will burn and suffer for eternity. Just because you believe in something doesn’t make it a reality. If I said I believe in a magic poop fairy it doesn’t make that a reality and if I’m trying to make other people believe in the power of the magic poop fairy. People should challenge that belief. Just like they should challenge the belief of any god. A lack of evidence is not evidence. And there is no evidence of god.

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            • Nikclaire
              5 years ago

              If there was proof it wouldn't be faith.

              No one knows either way.

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            • Grunewald
              5 years ago

              The proof I have is what I have lived through, and the Bible texts, and various other references from the secular archeological record.

              That being said... there are many other things we subject to far less scrutiny than we subject belief in God, and yet we will still entertain at least the possibility that they are real. Like parallel universes, extraterrestrial life... my faith does not depend on a 100% fully supported case that would stand in a court of law, in order to hold. And yet the author Frank Morrison demonstrates in his book 'Who moved the stone?' that there is enough evidence for the Resurrection for it to pass muster in a law court.

              The large part of I can see in what you've written is disdain and caricature and very little of respect; we've passed the point of civility clearly. Sigh... If I'm to spend my time writing to you I'll only do it on an equal footing. Your parallels to magic poop fairies aren't necessarily applicable to my situation just because you want them to be.

              But I'll stop there. Your anger that I dare express a view that you disagree with, or that was perhaps shared by someone who hurt you once, does not make you right.

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          • Bazinga
            5 years ago

            The best answer is to live on impulse. Diddle your clit, eat chocolate, wear makeup. Does Jesus cry when you masturbate? Who gives a fuck. Just do it.

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            • Grunewald
              5 years ago

              You picked some shoddy examples of sins. There's nothing wrong with eating chocolate or wearing makeup :/. There'd only be something wrong with it if we were doing it for the wrong reasons. And there's not a *huge* lot wrong with 'diddling your clit' either - though it is not the best thing you can do for your soul... there are more wrong reasons you can do that for...

              What we do is an extension of what we believe.

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  • JustinAnderson
    5 years ago

    Choose Islam As your religion

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  • karmasAbich
    5 years ago

    Attend black mass

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  • Grunewald
    5 years ago

    It is normal to feel angry, yes. They have not reacted in a very Christian way, in my view.
    What Scripture says that it is before God that every individual stands or falls, so it is up to you how you live and what you believe.

    Different people go through different stages of development. Faith doesn't always look the same. Going to church and praying and 'trying to be a good person' are not rituals for me; they're just things that make sense because I want regular contact with God and with people who love him, and I want to do what he loves. But if at any point that becomes less important to me, my church attendance slides... what normally brings me back is that I love being at peace with God and I don't feel okay if I am not in tune with him. I imagine this is normal for most Christians who are not Christians because their family told them to be. How you act is simply an indication of what's important to you.

    I feel that your family and community are right to be concerned about the judgment that is coming on sin. If people don't want to pray or go to church that can be a sign that their commitment to God is weakening. It can be concerning, when you love someone and you want them to be at peace with God, and to have a good relationship with him. God reaches out to people in Jesus precisely to spare them hell and help them to live more fully now, and with him in eternity later. Of course they would be worried if they thought you might abandon him.

    But they shouldn't use hell to threaten or shame you. They shouldn't make out that you are more wicked than any other person. It just isn't true, and this way of reacting isn't worthy of the name of Christ. It is no wonder you want to distance yourself from them - many people would.

    If you're new here, you may not know but there have been threads of late that have been less than respectful towards God and those who believe in him, asking people why they believe then blanket labeling them 'stupid' and 'idiot' when they gave their reasons... People use this site to vent and they are not always very gentle. I don't think you will find the support you need here.

    I urge you to speak to Christians maybe outside of your family and church circle. There are Christians that can provide a healthier (and less cult-like) spiritual perspective on your question than that of your family and home, which sounds unhealthy to me. I am an Anglican (post evangelical) and have recently had the joy of getting to know some Catholics and Orthodox Christians where I work. Their perspectives on Christ are refreshing.

    All the best.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    It's normal to deviate from parts of your background. However, please don't hate the religion because of individuals who behave in unkind, hypocritical, and unhelpful ways.

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    • Lestat565
      5 years ago

      I would say that is fine to hate the religion itself but it’s wrong to hate those that believe in the religion.

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      • [Old Memory]
        5 years ago

        The people who believe in the religion are more of the issue here, though. The Bible doesn't say to be obnoxious like they were.

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  • JellyBeanBandit
    5 years ago

    Totally normal for you to feel like that. I don't believe in God myself but I don't think being angry at a bunch of foolish people is a good reason not to believe in God anymore though. There are plenty of Christians who aren't so extreme and fundamentalist about it all, you could surround yourself with them.

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  • HowlOutLoud
    5 years ago

    Never really felt for Christianity. Got depressed from family and left. Yeet I’m fine.

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  • palehorse
    5 years ago

    Disclaimer: I'm an atheist and don't have much experience with religion.

    I believe in freedom of religion, and I think it's okay to follow or not follow any faith, as long as it doesn't harm others. Your family shouldn't be pressuring you into going to church, or telling you that you'll go to hell for not listening to them, especially now that you're old enough to be making your own decisions. People can be very stubborn about their beliefs, and your family probably just wants what they think is best for you - so don't be too hard on them. However, know that you're not obliged to follow their beliefs.

    Maybe try to reconsider your views outside the influence of your family. Also, remember that not all Christians are toxic / cult-like.

    You can try visiting the subreddit exchristian (https://www.reddit.com/r/exchristian/). There are a lot of people like you there facing familial pressure and not knowing what to do or believe in. They might give better advice.

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  • chuy
    5 years ago

    Yes

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  • LloydAsher
    5 years ago

    I mean I come from a Lutheran backround but came out agnosic. I hold no grudges on the Christian side of things. I find even the worst of Christian and Jewish people to be a better side then the worsts of the atheists and Islamic religions.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    You just do you, savy

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