Is it normal that i'm 20 years old & gay and have never asked out a guy?

I'm 20 years old and gay, my best friend is a lesbian who sleeps around all the time with girls and I've never even been asked out by a man and I'm very shy and have never had the courage to ask out a gay guy especially if they're good looking. I feel very worthless and like I'm behind everyone from high school and life in general.

Is It Normal?
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  • Yes, it's normal. Stuff like that happens for people at different times in life.

    Also, do yourself a favor and break the habit of comparing your life to those of people you went to high school with (or anyone else you know, for that matter). I know it's easier said than done, but will allow you to be much happier with your life and feel much less pressure. The reality is that we only know what other people allow us to see of their lives, and it's likely there are things they're behind you at, too.

    Either way, it's not a race and in my honest opinion, it's much better for the wait to be longer for the right person than to rush into anything with the wrong one (take it from someone who was pressured into my last relationship and was miserable the entire year and a half it lasted).

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  • Come on bro I’m 30 and straight and even I have asked out a man before

    All jokes aside, not a huge deal. Plenty of people, no matter their sexuality or gender, have never been on dates or had a relationship. Everybody moves at their own pace, if you rush things you’ll likely regret it.

    But dating is meant to be fun, don’t worry about taking things too seriously, just get out there and meet a few dudes. Everybody is a little awkward and shy when they first meet someone, even if they look like they’re confident

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  • If you are trying to ask someone out to be like everyone else, that means that you don't want a relationship, you just like the idea of one. If you find the right guy for you, you will know. If you just ask out every attractive guy you see, chances are you will be more unhappy than you are now if you don't connect.

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  • The awkward reality is that it often takes longer for gay people to have their first kiss, first time and first relationship due to homophobic surroundings and the smaller dating pool. Not having been on a date at 20 is far from abnormal.

    I recommend trying to make some gay friends your age, or even just joining non-sex based gay forums and LGBT+ Facebook pages so you can see just how normal it is to have little or no experience at your age. Also comparing your life progress to people from your highschool, even other gay guys, is a complete waste of time. They’re different people living in different circumstances, we’re all going at our own pace.

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  • Well be patient, maybe someone will like you eventually, and you can ask out someone yoursel whenever you feel ready, goodluck.

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