Is it normal that i haven't done a poo in 8 days?

Yeah so it's now been just over 8 days since I last did a poo. At first I thought this was really impressive and was pretty stoked. I told a bunch of my friends and they were mostly really impressed, but one of my friends said that it wasn't good to go so long without pooing and that I am sick. I think she's just jealous, but now my tummy is starting to hurt and looks a little bigger. I'm probably just paranoid though

Voting Results
14% Normal
Based on 14 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 28 )
  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    thats what killed elvis

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    • randypete

      today is the anniversary of his death

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      • jethro

        Maybe that is what drove the creation of this troll post.

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    • KholatKhult

      So they say

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  • olderdude-xx

    It is not normal unless you stopped eating.

    At this stage you need to take action to get things moving; because if things become to solid in there it can cause significant issues.

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  • raisinbran

    When they do an autopsy on you, they will have a die-cast ultra-hard poo statue of your entire digestive system. Maybe it can be your gravestone.

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    • Grunewald

      I found that way funnier than I should have.

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  • Tinybird

    are you that guy onr/nosleep who didn't crap for like 3 years and then found out there was some demon parasite thing living in his stomach?

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    • 1WeirdGuy

      Whaaaat!? That happened? That demon must have been eating good

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    • MonteMetcalfe

      I hate when that happens.

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  • libertybell

    One time I went more than 2 weeks without a bowel movement.💩 2 1/2 weeks I think. To be fair,I was depressed,and hadn't been eating much.

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    • 1WeirdGuy

      Was it a massive dump when ylu finally went? I did that and it was like i was having a baby.

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      • libertybell

        Surprisingly, no. It was just normal-sized.

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  • rkive

    Please don't die on the toilet like Elvis.

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  • Iambillythemenacetosociety

    Why are you celebrating this? This is a sign of cancer.

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  • Grunewald

    Ask for advice at any pharmacy. You wouldn't believe how well-qualified pharmacists are in Britain. People don't take advantage of their knowledge. If the pharmacist says it needs a doctor's attention, that's what it needs. Otherwise, buy the medicine that they suggest.

    If the pharmacist tells you to speak to a doctor, or what the pharmacist has to offer isn't helping, call NHS 111 - the non-emergency line. Or just call your local GP practice an hour before opening and ask if they have any cancellations. They used to be able to get you an appointment within 24 hours - but nowadays you could at least hope to be seen to within the week.

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  • Thank you all so much for your advices. I still have not done a poo. I ate 6 meals yesterday and today to try and make gravity help the poo come put with more weight on top but no luck. My tummy doesn't hurt anymore so I guess it's okay?
    Should I try methadone? Where to I buy methadone in London?

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    • Grunewald

      I dunno. Boots? Superdrug?

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  • bbrown95

    This seems unhealthy. My suggestion would be to drink plenty of water so you're not stopped up, and also sugar free chocolates seem to do the trick in a pinch. I definitely wouldn't be celebrating this though, as this could lead to health issues and it isn't good to keep that in your body for that long.

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  • 1234tellmethatyoulovememore

    GO TO THE DOCTOR

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    • 1234tellmethatyoulovememore

      And by that I mean the EMERGENCY ROOM. Don't just make an appointment.

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  • capman

    Maybe you need some good cabbage soup & cornbread!

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  • 1WeirdGuy

    Reminds me of my methadone days. Methadone makes heroine look like a cup of tea. Worst drug ive ever done you wont shit for weeks.

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    • LloydAsher

      So is it meth? Or fancy meth? Or somehow less classy meth?

      Had to pack some fiber one bars with me so I can poop when I'm not inconvenienced. I try to keep regular but I'm not shiting in a bush/on a seat that will give me hepititus.

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      • 1WeirdGuy

        Methadone is the drug the government allows clinics to give to heroin addicts to keep them off heroin. Its a clinic you have to go to everyday to get your dose and theres like a 70 person line when the doors open at 5am.

        Only problem is its a worst drug in many ways. They will allow you to have as much as you want. It makes you even more sleepy than heroin which causes you to crash. And it literally paralyzes your bowels. If you ever drive by a clinic in the mornint look at thr parking lot. All the cars will be dinged up from them nodding off and hitting things while driving.

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        • LloydAsher

          Well thank god I dont live in an area where theres a line that long. Honestly I dont even notice where the drug rehabilitation centers are as they just blend in with every other building. We definitely have them.

          I live in a small enough town where druggies mainly keep to themselves and it's not as visible. They are the ones that crew the fast food joints.

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          • 1WeirdGuy

            Go to the black neighborhood. Thats where they stick the abortion clinics and methadone clinics.

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            • LloydAsher

              Another benefit of living in my town. The black population that lives here is in the middle class+

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