Is it normal that I hate life

One day I believed everything I heard and became obssed with harrasing people. I got punched in the nose and now I only trash talk secretley. I'm 23 and really physically small. I'm insecure about my sexuality and so I make gay 'jokes' and create bi fantasies online. I'm not smart and I lie a lot. I'm afraid i hate life because I fear I may get in trouble again soon.

Is It Normal?
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