Is it normal that i get upset when i hear someone use the word "retarded"?

I'm an autistic female, and I get kinda upset when I hear someone use the phrase "retarded." I don't go SJW mode, I just feel uncomfortable. The word has a lot of horrible history behind it, and I think it's awful how people think it's okay to use it as another word for stupid. It's like saying disability is bad/stupid. Even when people say they're just using it as a joke, I don't like it, because it's like a nonblack person saying "It's okay for me to say the n word if I'm singing along to a rap song."

Am I normal and are there other people who feel the same way?

it's perfectly fine to use it anywhere 22
it's okay to say it during a joke 13
People shouldn't use it 18
Only disabled people can reclaim it 11
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Comments ( 39 )
  • SkullsNRoses

    Retarded is considered a slur by many people but despite most people knowing this it has unfortunately become entrenched in our vocabulary. The other day I was called retarded myself for not liking basil on pasta.

    Bigbud makes the point that if we stamp out use of “retarded” another word will just come along to replace it, and it’s fair to say that we should focus on the root of the problem- the normalisation of bullying of disabled people. However as the word “retarded” is currently used as weapon in the bullies’ arsenal it makes sense to try to eliminate casual use of the word.

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    • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

      when i was a kid they replaced retarded with sped (SPecial EDucation) in an effort to stop the r word

      that just gave the kids one more word in their insult vocabularies

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      • Clunk42

        The modern equivalent is "ESE" (Exceptional Student Education).

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      • Meowypowers

        You seem touched.

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        • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

          when i think about you i touch myself

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      • magneticmandala

        unfortunately, people think being disabled is bad, and mock those who are, and I'm sick of it.

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        • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

          yeah but we were mockin eachother usin those words

          nobody mocked the disabled kids that woulda been considered pathetic

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          • Tommythecaty

            Exactly, it was us mocking each other. I don’t recall ever walking up to an actually mentally disabled person and calling them a retard, and I’ve never seen anyone else do it either.

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            • magneticmandala

              still, even if you are mocking each other, it's like saying "you're just like a disabled person."

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          • magneticmandala

            I don't like it when people do that either, it's like saying "you're just like a disabled person."

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            • bigbudchonga

              Can you genuinely not see that having a disability so severe that is causes you to be literally mentally retarded is a bad thing?

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            • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

              well yall aint gonna make any friends bein the banter police

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          • bigbudchonga

            Enit, I've never actually seen a single example of someone calling a genuinely mentally retarded person retarded.

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    • bigbudchonga

      It's not the normalization of bullying of the genuinely retarded. Nobody thinks that anybody who walks up to a severely disabled down's syndrome person and calls them retarded is a reasonable or fair person.

      The point is what being retarded defines will always be seen as a negative thing because it is a negative thing. It's like trying to spin someone smelling like shit into a positive thing. It's just never going to happen because its fundamentally flawed.

      The word has become entrenched in our vocabulary from people exactly like OP being offended by other people using words to describe the very same thing. Frankly it's metaphorically retarded not to see being literally retarded as a negative thing.

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    • magneticmandala

      exactly! your point was better made than mine.

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    • KholatKhult

      This explanation is hot

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  • RoseIsabella

    I'm sorry, but the use of the word retarded doesn't bother me in the least. I'm actually a fan of when people from Boston say, "that's wicked retarded".

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    • LloydAsher

      Never go full retard

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  • EnglishLad

    In the literal sense "retarded" doesn't actually mean stupid. It means slowed down. So used in that context it shouldn't offend anyone. The phrase "when I speak to my foreign friends who are learning English, I make sure I use retarded speech" is an example of such inoffensive use.

    That being said, it has indeed been adopted into bullies' vocabulary to become a disparaging word towards people with low mental capacity, which is understandable, but unfortunate.

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  • someone0noone

    Unfortunately the commentors saying that the word will simply be replaced by another insult, do have a strong point.

    The solution is not to try and ban the word, but to simply teach people to not use disability as an insult or see it as something to insult. Forbidding people from using a slur without telling them why is... kind of pointless.

    However, there are always going to be people who insult others especially on the internet. Slurs and insults in general just shouldn't be used. We can't really ban people from calling others ugly.

    I don't know. It's a difficult word. I also find it uncomfortable to see/hear. It's not the same as ugly, an opinion word, because at its root it referred to a condition. That is, someone can factually be retarded. On the other hand, both are objectively negative things to be, that can't really be changed in many cases.

    But obviously, it's not at all socially acceptable to tell someone they're ugly... so... maybe it would be better if retarded was viewed similarly?

    anyway I spent too long thinking about this topic thanks but i gotta go now

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    • magneticmandala

      never seen such a perfect response! thank you :)

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan

    I still use it. Not because im trying to he malicious but because I grew up saying it and nobody I talk to cares.

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  • bigbudchonga

    The word retarded originally came on the scene as a sensitive alternative to words such as idiot, moron and imbecile.

    You're not going to like this, but whatever word replaces it will always be used as an insult because fundamentally, to be an idiot, moron, imbecile, or a retard is a negative thing. No amount of changing the word has fixed this issue, and none ever will because the the subject matter it defines is negative.

    "It's like saying disability is bad", no shit. Being mentally disabled enough to the point of fitting the definition of retarded is a bad thing. Yes it would be horrible to point the finger at genuinely retarded people and call them retarded, that's where sensitivity comes into using the word, but other than that it's used freely and widely because it's such an obviously negative thing to be.

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    • magneticmandala

      the thing is, some people who aren't fitting the definition of it are called it too. and not all disabilities are bad things. autism comes with many positive outcomes, for example.

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      • bigbudchonga

        I would hope only people who don't truly fit the definition are called it. Its about as rudimentary an insult as you can get dude. Unless you can stop humans from insulting each other then whatever word represent the sentiment of retardation will always be used as an insult.

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  • Tommythecaty

    When I use the word retarded I mean something is stupid, not a mentally handicapped person.

    Same when I say something is gay, it means something is lame, not homosexual.

    I’ve just used the same phrases since I was a teen, not changing them for the sake of political correctness. It’s all context.

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  • ellnell

    All slurs are offensive and yes it's normal to feel that way but people are most likely going to keep saying it.

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  • JellyBeanBandit

    I completely agree. I've been trying not to say the word 'Retard' anymore, it's difficult though, it's become such a habit. And I do apologise for ever using it before. But there's really no reason why the words 'Retard', 'Nigger' and 'Faggot' shouldn't all be treated as equally offensive and prohibited, at least in principle. They're all slurs, they're all used to put down people for who they are, and to insult others by comparing them to these people.

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  • Jimbo24

    Why are educated white chicks so PC? Forget politics/society and go shopping, watch the Kardashians or some shit.

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  • Jwhit555

    I have legit disabilities and use the word retarded and gay. Same as Tommythecaty...grew up learning those words meant you thought something was stupid or dumb. A conversation between friends. Never bullying anyone that had a disability or someone that was homosexual. Ppl are weak.

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  • GaelicPotato

    Stop being fucking retarded.

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  • my_life_my_way

    It’s a bit retarded to be offended by it

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  • Clunk42

    Neither is truly offensive; people just pretend they are.

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  • litelander8

    I think there’s better words to use. I don’t use it often. However it is a real word with a real definition which just means “lacking”. It’s been a clinical term for years.

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