Is it normal that i dont feel like being friends with someone anymore?

60% Normal
5 Comments

So a couple years ago i met this girl, i'll call her F. F is 5 years younger than me, when i met her i was an teen-adult going through a teen-adult crisis. I used to talk with her almost everyday, she was kinda funny and i use to enjoy talking with her because then i could just forget about my worries for a little. But things changed and now i'm in my twenties, trying to do something useful to my life, there's college, job, parents expectations and a lot of things to deal with, F is still a very young teenager and frequently wants my attention, she is very clingy wich is honestly something that i can't stand in a friendship, she always sends me thousends of audio messages with like 4 - 5 minutes telling me random things about her day, the new boy that she's into, and when she starts talking, she just never ends...
The thing is, she likes me very very much, and I don't think I like her as must as she likes me. I don't want to be rude and hurt her by saying that I don't want her frienship anymore. I enjoy talking to her sometimes, but I don't think i am the type of friend that she needs... And before you think she's a shy introvert, no, she's actually VERY sociable, she always go to parties with a lot of friends and stuff like that. She's never alone. I actually know why she likes me so much, is because I listen without complain every single little thing that she wants to tell me, and talk about anything she wants to. But I don't do this because i'm interested, at this point I do just to be polite... I guess none of her friends listen to her too much because she knows how to be annoying sometimes. Now she really wants to come to my city (after pandemic ends) meet me in real life. I'm in panic because I kinda don't want this to happen. I don't want to unfriend her, but also I don't want our friendship to go this far. I just wish we could talk casually. Nothing too deep. I don't have a best friend and I'm acutally ok with that.

I think this is more an "Am I the asshole" question, right?
I am currently trying to "avoid" her, but I feel bad cause I know that she misses me. I just wish I could tell these things to her in a non hurting way... She's very sensitive and i'm afraid of what type of crazyness she would do if I just say "Our friendship is not exactally how u think". Beyond all that, she's still a teenager.

So, back to the question: Is it normal that i dont feel like being friends with someone anymore?

Would be great to receive some advices to how to solve this situation in a good way, if it's really possible :")

also excuse my english, i'm not fluent :)

Voting Results
60% Normal
Based on 5 votes (3 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 5 )
  • Jamie_Sulky
    3 years ago

    Well, I think from what you wrote it sounds like your find with talking to her sometimes but just can't handle how clingy things are. Its always important to be upfront: don't let this heat up until it inevitably boils over. Let her know her clingyness is too much, and that you have your own life. It's important to let her know that aspect of her is annoying.

    but if you don't like her anymore and don't want to be friends with her, just let her know whats up. just DON'T GHOST THEM. Don't block them out of no where, don't give vague answers, tell her how things have changed and that now you have a lot of responsibilities etc etc. You are going to hurt them eitherway, the way to minimize pain is to be honest (but don't be an asshole about it, be sincere). hope this helps

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • TheDustyMagician
    3 years ago

    "I don't want to unfriend her"
    so you just want her to stop being overly clingy?
    not sure if this is gonna work but you can try this:
    1.start the conversation by catching her atention to what you have to say.ex:"I have something important to tell you"
    2.point out good things about her friendship.ex:"you are a wonderfull friend and i like being your friend"
    3.make your point.ex:"I dont want to stop being your friend but you are way too clingy"
    4.make a quick resume.ex:"so what I trying to say is, I want to continue being your friend but, can you give me some space every once in a while?"

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • RoseIsabella
      3 years ago

      Yes, OP should tell this girl that he/she needs some space.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    If you want to try to salvage the friendship while also trying to make it more mutually beneficial, it would take time and effort on your part but you could leave subtle cues and stuff to help teach her how to talk to you

    I'm not sure if this will work in your case, but saying something like "ugh this girl at work talks non stop and doesn't even let me get a word in edge wise! Why would I talk to her if it's not even fun for me?!?!"

    You know, something like that she can associate with her own behavior that tells her what you, as her friend, thinks of that behavior without you actually saying you don't like her behavior

    It might take some time for the light bulb to turn on for her, but you'll know, after a certain point, if that's just who she is or if she can handle constructive criticism

    It also opens the door for your exit, she should recognize the possibility of what you're saying at least and if she has the deficits to ignore your hidden message she probably has the deficits to think you're what's wrong with the friendship

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Cuntsiclestick
    3 years ago

    If you really don't want her friendship anymore, the only way to solve this is to end the friendship. Tell her what you said on this post. It'll hurt her, but the bright side is that you won't have to deal with her anymore. I also suggest blocking her number and blocking her on any websites you go to.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1