Is it normal that i choose to give up my personal life for my career?

63% Normal

I am going on 22 and I have an amazing career that I am building. It has become pretty much all I can think about and I revolve all of my decisions in life based off of it. I don't consider myself overly consumed by it, as I do make time for friends and enjoy spending time with them and mostly forget about it when I'm with them, but I have lost interest in all of my actual hobbies in favor of it and I consider my only hobby outside of socializing with my small circle of friends to be working.

I don't feel as though I miss any of my old hobbies, and in fact, they make me miserable now and I don't get any joy out of them at all, only stress. I feel as if it is time to grow up and quit being a child and engaging in meaningless and unproductive hobbies, but I have not forced myself to quit them or lose interest, I just have. I don't see the incentive anymore. I usually only really focused on one thing at a time before and only had one real hobby at a time and maybe a couple of minor things on the side, but I feel that my focus should be on my career and I feel good about myself when I focus on it.

I have forgone dating too because I view my career as being more important and I view dating as a distraction. I can't even force myself to take any interest in any of these things. I love my independence and the freedom to do what I want with my life, and I feel like dating and nonsensical hobbies tie me down. I am making great money for someone my age and love being free to do with it as I please and not spending it on things that I feel do not benefit me, such as hobbies.

I view dating as more of glorified babysitting based off of past experiences, and I am a person who greatly values time to myself and the freedom of not having to take care of someone else. I have never felt a strong need for companionship and grew up an only child that was used to entertaining and taking care of myself.

I also have completely changed who I am as a person and I was someone I am very ashamed of now, and I feel as though I should throw away all old remnants of my past, which include my former hobbies. I feel like having any associations with my past at all will not allow me to become the person I want to be, and I have realized that I do not relate to nor agree with, or even like a lot of the people I met from one of my old hobbies, so I want to disassociate myself from them. Is this normal?

Voting Results

63% Normal

Based on 8 votes (5 yes)

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Comments ( 20 )

[Old Memory]

6 years ago

I relate to this heavily, though I was never the social type to begin with so there wasn't much of a transition. I do environmental and animal urban/arctic research, work with NatGeo, PETA, WWF, History Channel, Planet Earth, etc. A lot of it is off the grid and with projects that last extended periods of time without breaks or off days.

Once spent 4 months tracking a single male Kodiak Bear, only sleeping when he slept, and only eating what I could find.

Research conclusion: Yes, bears walk sometimes.

Doing the real important work here people.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I was never exceptionally social before either. I just have a small circle of friends that I've had for years and we're all slowly drifting apart for the most part.
  That sounds interesting! I love animals a lot and one of my hobbies was horseback riding, but I just don't have the motivation or interest for it anymore.
  
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barrysbigbeanbag

6 years ago

What sort of career is it!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  It is a manual labor career involving cleaning and floor maintenance. I do janitorial work in office buildings, strip and wax floors, and epoxy concrete floors. I am in the midst of taking over the business for myself.
  
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noid

6 years ago

It sounds like you're happy now so that's all that matters. But since hobbies was a big deal, what were they? I basically have none now, what did you enjoy?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I used to enjoy writing, drawing, horseback riding (which was my biggest one that I had been involved in pretty much my entire life), and playing the violin for a few years. I still enjoy writing just to clear my head and get things off my chest, but outside of that, I don't really do it anymore.
  
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  - noid
    
    6 years ago
    
    Those are nice hobbies. I think sometimes hobbies come in phases. I think sometimes if you truly enjoy something you may get interested in it again. It's ok to give it a rest in the meantime. I like growing houseplants myself, I was big into African Violets a couple times, years apart. I won't be surprised if I don't get a bunch again one day.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      Thank you! I think the same, as I have family members and friends who have taken breaks consisting of many years from hobbies and then returned to them later on in life. I have also heard from many in the horse community that it is common for people in my general age range (around college age, late teens to early 20's) to drift away from the equestrian world and come back to it later on.
      
      Plants are neat, I really like flowers especially!
      
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Anonymous Post Author

6 years ago

That is a fear of mine. I feel very burned out on all of my hobbies, and I literally have no other interests outside of interacting with friends and family, playing with my cat, and working. I've never had a very wide variety of interests, but I feel that what I have left is waning. I don't know what to do to get it back either, and it's hard for me to develop new interests since I don't have many in the first place.

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bubsy

6 years ago

I hope your job doesn't involve paragraphs. Just do what fulfills you, what gives you that reason to wake up in the morning.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  Sorry, I just grouped it all together into one text post, as I am used to filling up a character count pretty quickly and usually forego it on sites such as this. Ironically enough, English was my strong point in school, and writing was one of my hobbies that went by the wayside.
  
  But no, my job consists of manual labor, which keeps me happy and occupied, makes me feel accomplished and good about myself, and also keeps me fit. I am a high energy person and this job is perfect for me. I was miserable at my former jobs that consisted of just sitting or standing there, and I can say that I actually love and look forward to my current job.
  
  Thank you for your answer.
  
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Anonymous Post Author

6 years ago

I updated this to break it into paragraphs. Sorry for any inconveniences.

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RoseIsabella

6 years ago

I really wish you would have had the consideration to break this post up into paragraphs. I think it's great that you want to focus on your occupation, but...

What's up with your whole issue about these so called "hobbies" of yours? What do you have against your past hobbies? What kinda hobbies were these that you should such resentment about it?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  Sorry, I mentioned in a previous comment that I tend to forego paragraphs on sites like these because I tend to fill up a character count rather quickly, and forget that this site doesn't have a ridiculously short character limit.
  
  I don't really resent them, I just derive no enjoyment from them anymore and feel that they are unimportant, do not benefit me in the long run, and are somewhat childish. I did absolutely resent playing the violin once I had been playing for a few years, was taking it very seriously, and pretty much burned myself out on it.
  
  I feel unhappy and stressed even thinking about horseback riding as well, which is something I've been involved with pretty much my entire life. For the most part, I think the demise of that hobby for me is largely contributed to many of the people I met through that hobby and some bad experiences as well. I also believe that horses are such a time consuming hobby that they have no place in my life and are more for children with a lot of free time on their hands. I also just get absolutely no joy out of it anymore and feel that I have grown up and outgrown it. I don't even like being near horses anymore and find them to be more of a nuisance than anything now. I sometimes wonder if it is something I just grew up doing because my family was involved in it rather than for my own enjoyment in the first place.
  
  As far as writing and drawing go, they are just something I outgrew as I became an adult and matured. I still write my feelings out to relieve stress at times, but I don't write anything outside of that. Drawing is more of a child's hobby and I have no use for it anymore, as it is unproductive and has no benefits.
  
  I also tend to be very hard on myself and pressure myself to the point of burning myself out on things and no longer enjoying them. I have never seen the point in doing something I have no skill at "just for fun" and merely for enjoyment purposes. What is the point of doing something I am not good at? I feel that it does no good for myself or anyone else, and is unproductive and a waste of time. I don't want to waste my life on nonsense, but instead something that will actually benefit me in the long run and not just seem nice at the moment and then be over with.
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    6 years ago
    
    Now you've got me curious as to what kind of people you met when you were into horseback riding. I've never really been around horses, but they seem to skittish for my taste. I'm really more the cats and dogs type myself. My life is empty without a cat.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      I love cats as well, and dogs too. Horses can be skittish for sure, especially if they are young and haven't had much training yet.
      
      Some of the people I met were extremely gossipy, seemed to have major insecurity issues (at least that is what I got from it when they incessantly made fun of and talked down to others), and many were even dysfunctional in ways.
      
      The equestrian community is one that seems to attract a lot of drama, as well as people who seem to be very unstable. I have frequented a few different public riding places in the past and although there have been some great people as well, I find that the majority of them behave like cliquey junior high/high school kids, love to spread gossip and drama, etc.
      
      It got to where I couldn't go for a quiet ride without being criticized (not in a constructive way either, but rather hateful). Also, many of these people tend to be extremely closed-minded to any ways to do things other than their own, and all hell breaks loose if you so much as politely disagree.
      
      I am aware that there are many eccentric people in every aspect of life, but I don't think I've ever met more in a certain sport than in horseback riding. Even a world class equestrian has been quoted as questioning the number of very strange people involved with horses. I've never had many friends involved in the sport because of this and it's very easy for constant drama to ruin the fun. It's even hard to enjoy the hobby and stay away from the people simultaneously.
      
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        6 years ago
        
        Wow! I pretty much just picture a bunch of spoiled and snobby assholes.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        6 years ago
        
        Yes, that's pretty much it. There have been some nice people as well, but it's hard to filter through the stuck up ones, and the ones who think that they know more than everyone else and constantly try to correct people or tell them that everything they do is wrong.
        
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xfg-48

6 years ago

Fuck you and your long, selfish paragraph. You don't give a shit about anyone reading your garbage. It's normal to give up your personal life because being productive and contributing to humanity as a whole is more important than your personal interests.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  Oh wow, okay. I have apologized for my "selfishness" in not breaking this up into paragraphs at least twice now. I did not know that it was such a sensitive thing in this community. In any case, no one is forcing you to read my "garbage" and the joke's on you if you tortured yourself as you will have us all believe by forcing yourself to read it.
  
  Thank you for your answer anyway.
  
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i choose to give up my personal life for my career?