Is it normal/ok for teachers to cause an anxiety attack?
A bit ago, I had been having a nice time at school, at least for the first period of the day. I went to a private school for people who needed a little more help at school, depending on who they were and all that jazz. Ever since I began going there, a few months before, they had been discouraging the use of my drawing pad, which I used to doodle as a fidget so I could keep my attention on the class instead of spacing out. In math class, my teacher got mad at me for using my drawing pad, although I was ahead of everyone there on the sheet we were on, and it was literally the homework from the night before we were scanning over. I got pissed and tried to leave the room with my drawing pad, as she had asked me to leave the room for a bit, but she then stopped me. Less than a minute later and I found myself in the office, still quite upset. The head counselor of my school took me into her office, not giving me any time to calm down before asking me what happened. I told her my side of the story, but she didn’t even seem to believe me. I told her that in my opinion, my math teacher was in the wrong, and in turn, the counselor said that I was being “difficult” and hard to work with. She then called the vice principal, who i already kind of disliked due to him raising his voice prior when I had accidentally interrupted him in the past, as that is something I am working on. They continued to say I was being uncooperative, and the vice principal continued to say the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life. He said that my need to doodle in class was like a guy needing to golf in the middle of work. I was dumbfounded at what he said. How could anyone like him be working at a school like this? After a bit, with me ending up crying, i ended up going back to class, which had by then ended. Later that day, my whole school was forced yet again to go outside to watch a school soccer game(and miss two classes). No one wanted to watch the soccer game and luckily for me, my teacher had allowed me to sit up at the patio near the field and draw on my iPad. Yes, my school didn’t really like technology, but I thought it was fine since my teacher said it was ok. Some stuff happened, such as a rude teacher yelling at everyone to get closer to the field and that she was the boss(I didn’t even know who she was). The vice principal approached me minueted later, commenting on me sitting alone. I told him what happened and again, she didn’t believe me. I then said that another few reasons why I hadn't yet moved over to where some people I knew were was because it was too sunny and it would get in my eyes(which was true), and because they were in the grassy area and I didn’t want to sit in the grass or anything because I have a fear of bugs(which i do). His response to this was, “you know… I think you’re making this all up.” This strikes a nerve. We had a back and forth and I admit I did stay something along the lines of how he should use him brain for once, but then he demanded that I hand over my iPad, which I refused. When I continued to refuse he said we would be calling my parents(even before then he was treating me like a little immature kid, even though I was literally 16) and told another teacher to take my backpack from me. My mind saw this as a big threat and went on alert mode, grabbing my backpack and shoving it onto my back so no one could take it, hugging my iPad to my chest as I started to breath faster, my fight or flight mode instincts kicking in. I was panicking, since I didn’t have a great relationship with my mother and my mother already seemed to make myself feel worse. My heavy breathing during into me hyperventilating, feeling my blood boil and my fear rise above the roof as violent and anxiety filled thoughts raced through my mind. I was crying and it was hard to see anything, but I could see that the counselor, who had been there as well, was standing only a few feet away and turned the other direction, talking with another teacher. They were close enough that I KNOW they heard me. No one comforted me. No one told me it was going to be ok. I couldn’t trust anyone anymore. I had had a few pencils with me at the time and due to my anxiety I began to scrape their sharp points against my skin. The counselor only seemed mildly annoyed by that and told me to stop it. When she tried to grab them from me, take snatched them away, still panicked. I then chose the flight option, trying to find a way to escape. Unfortunately there was a fence between me and the parking lot. The counselor stopped me but I continued looking for a way out until my other school counselor came over and asked if I was alright. The rest of the day I was anxiety filled and wasn’t sure who to trust. To this day, I still hate the school counselor and the vice principal. I have heard from others in the school that they haven’t been the best to them either. When I told my parents about what happened, they said I had been overreacting and that I was in the wrong. Was I? I don’t know anymore…
It's definitely not okay for teachers to act like that, but sadly it's well too common. I had a similar experience way back in elementary. Not a teacher, but a principal talking to me about how it's wrong to stay on the side and draw at recess instead of "being social". I had extreme social anxiety at that age, and still do to this day. Basically making me cry to the point other students even asked if I was okay, but my principal didn't care, neither did my teacher when I came back inside. Even though it was a long time ago, I believe it's still affected me today, I was a very quiet and sensitive child and would cry over small things, but for some reason that particular one stuck with me. Anyway, you're not alone when it comes to teachers being jerks, sadly a lot of teachers just are, and it isn't your fault.
Yeah teachers can be dicks. I remember my first day in highschool the teacher told me to stand up and told everyone "look at this guys eyebrows it looks like two catapillars stuck on his head" and I jusy awkwardly laughed and looked around the room and everyone was looking at me like they felt sorry for me no one laughed. I was super embarrassed but played it off ok. This teacher seemed to hate me from the moment he saw me before I even introduced myself or anything which was strange because my dad was in politics. He knew my dad and actually my dad got this curriculum added to the school (video editing). He ended up failing me my dad was pissed at him over that. I had the best final exam video too and he gave the 3 dudes who worked on thr video with me an A and me an F for the same video. Anyway thats my pity party rant thanks for listening.