Is it normal i'm struggling like this?

All of a sudden I have hemorrhoids and it's already a pain in the ass to eat so many apples these days and to wipe but now I can't shove gherkins inside of me for pleasure which always helped me to pee better as well.
I'm sitting on the toilet like a girl now and the pee isn't coming out and I probably have some kind of fucking prostrate cancer going on and can't even stick my finger up my butt to activate my peepee power because then there will be blood and poop on my index finger.
I'm busy feeling like I'm failing at life

Is It Normal?
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