Is it normal i’m scared of attractive people?

My last relationship was with a really attractive guy. However, he turned out to be a bit of a douche, self-absorbed etc. I really became a shell of myself at the end.

Now, I just kind of assume that attractive people/guys are just douches or aren’t as they seem. I must take extra time to get to know them but still assume they are bad. I have now lowered my standards. The guy I am dating now is great, but I am just not attracted to him at all. I want to keep dating him, but at same time assume this is all I can get bc I am so scared of putting myself out there for someone I’m really attracted to. I stay away from attractive guys & now keep to myself/assume I am not beautiful.

I am just scared/leery of them. Is this normal?

Is It Normal?
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  • I don't discriminate against attractive people. I basically haven't been interested in, or attracted to anyone in the past four years after leaving my most recent ex-boyfriend who turned out to be a narcissistic abuser. My ex was attractive, and the experience doesn't change how I judge physical beauty in males. I have simply ceased to have interest in males as anything other than platonic friends, and have less interest in people in general. I think I have become increasingly more introverted, and even reclusive, but I'm certainly not suddenly interested in romantically dating anyone to whom I'm not genuinely attracted.

    The only attractive people I would say I'm somewhat afraid of would be preppies, and the kind of people who were really involved in Greek life, fraternities & sororities, in college. It's not that they are beautiful, and I'm ugly, but rather we are very different animals.

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    • I hear you, Rose. Wolfman Jack was my favorite kind of animal. I would also say that animalism is the basis of human behavior.

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  • Plenty of attractive people are reasonably nice.

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  • It's normal and healthy to take your time getting to know someone before committing. The general rule is 3-4 months because it's hard to "keep up the act" so to speak for that long. I can relate to your struggle and I wish you well 💜

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