Is it normal he had sex with me?

The lines are a little blurred when he's always had permission to ignore your refusal.
I guess maybe from his point of view you would have used the safe word if you didn't want it.
The idea of seeing each other & fooling around without sex (when you're used to having sex with each other) was always going to be messy I think.
But at the end of the day if you feel unhappy you should talk to this guy

Do you know why you're full of mixed feelings and conflicted emotions about this? Because you take such a light and casual view of sex. The fact that you started off as fwb is a huge problem. People like to lie to themselves and one another that it can be just physical, or that boundaries of feelings can be preserved, but it's not true. What you do with your body affects your soul, your mind, your emotions. Everything within you is connected. So the number one way to avoid messy situations like this is to never do anything that even remotely looks like fwb. You should either be in a committed, well-defined monogamous relationship, or not at all. The more grey area you allow in, the more confusing everything will be.

The second problem is your communication with him. Simply be clear: yes or no. Yes needs to mean yes, and no needs to mean no. No exceptions. If you're unsure about whether you want to have sex with someone in any given moment, then you should stay on the side of caution and simply refrain from doing until until you're sure you know what you want to do. This is better for you AND your partner.

If you set up healthy, well defined and maintained boundaries, you'll find a lot of this nonsense just never happens in the first place.

One half of me thinks you're confused about the situation, my other half thinks you're confusing the situation. He may have been confused, as well.

What happened to the safe word? I think you are responsible for this one especially since you said you were saying things in a "jokey" way as you put it but bottom line you set the rules , you helped with the safe word , you didn't use it so .. unfortunately I can't blame him for this one .

best of luck going forward though!

I think it's normal to feel a little weird about what happened. But I would not say he raped you. You didn't say no or use the safe word. At least he wasn't hurting you, which is good. Maybe next time try to say no earlier before things start getting physical. But yeah I understand the feeling; I've had some regrettable sexual encounters with exes.

Personally I think fooling around with an ex is a terrible idea to begin with, so is telling someone to keep going even if you say "no."

But technically you made "no" part of the play by telling him to continue until you use your safe word. If you didn't use that word he was still within the boundaries you set. I hate hearing about guys taking advantage of girls or not respecting boundaries, but it sounds like you both just got carried away and now you regret it.

next time suck the fucking guy off and then shutup!

why didnt you just use your safe word?

Next time just suck his cock!

And then if he keeps
Going report the fuckin prick to police and hopefully a gang cuts his nuts odd like in sons of anarchy lol, that's what's rapists deserve!!!

Shutup mlybran!!!! The poor girl has a right to make a choice, I agree with Alex C4 100% meaningless sex is kind of disgusting really.... like yeah but you did confuse the guy, but no means no in future, maybe when you say no actually get up and put your fuckin clothes back on to send a proper
Message!!!

Jesus Christ my ex would do this shit all the time. It was SO aggravating. By the end of our relationship I was just ignoring her and ripping her clothes off. But when she meant no, like REALLY no, she'd make it known. And I knew better than to bark up that tree again.

I dont give a shit about "but you said......" crap. Im a guy and I know the feeling of being sexually abused, (in the navy). You could rightfully have shot him dead in most states and walked away free. When you told him no, you told him no. Not "no, dont, stop,." " No dont stop, dont stop". A pathetic guy like that showed you he has NO RESPECT for you or your body or the choices you make on your own behalf. He doesnt deserve to know your name. I would drop any sort of friendship and let him go his seperate way WITHOUT YOU OR YOUR NUMBER after you change it.

Well isn't that rape? You said no and he should had respected that.

I have no idea what to say..,nvr been in this situation before

What is your safe word?

This makes me so angry. He raped you. When you said no, he should've stopped. None of this, "Oh but you said okay before" shit.