Is it normal for friend to say they're afraid of what you're capable of?

I don't understand this but had this friend we hang out in groups but we grew closer and we talk every day we've been friends for a while. Asked them to hang out just them and me and they said no I asked why they said i wasnt going to like the reason.

They told me they're afraid of being alone with me because they don't fully trust me and think I'm capable of doing something harmful to them which really scares me because we have known each other years and we grew so close like I said we talk every day and they hang out alone with so many people but they said this to me and I said haha nice joke and they said they were serious and that they don't trust being alone with me.

I'm a female mind you and I've never been told this before. I'm so confused and I'm so sad because it's like here I was thinking I had a friend and then they tell me they don't even trust me and don't want to be alone with me. He's a straight guy, I'm a straight female and I don't get it. I asked what does he think I'll do and he said he thinks I'm capable of attacking him.

What the heck is this? I'm so confused. I was never mean to him once, I'm always polite I don't understand this. I feel so weird.

Is this normal?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 8 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • That is hurtful, plus it's a horrible insult. He's criticising your character, that's worse than criticising your looks or intelligence. I can't believe someone would say that to someone and think it's not a big deal.

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    • Thanks. Yeah I don't know what to do or say it's really odd and hurts

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      • Yeah, I'm sorry he hurt you like that. Idk, maybe you could tell him that it was really hurtful what he said, especially considering you've always considered the two of you friends, and that you don't understand why he'd feel that way. It is a strange situation though so I don't even know what would come about from it. If you're bottling up these feelings though and letting them turn into resentment, then you're better off telling him how you feel.

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  • If it’s just one person saying this I’m going to assume he just has some issues. Maybe he’s been attacked before, maybe he’s paranoid or maybe he’s just terrible at reading people.

    It sounds like you felt you were closer to him than you really were, which is a deflating thing to realise. If I were you I’d still be polite in group settings but focus my main efforts on friends who value me and don’t make bizarre comments about me attacking them.

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  • Maybe he was hurt by a girl in the past, and has a hard time trusting women. Does he hang with other women alone, or is it always with guys?

    It's not normal, and the way he delivered it seems to have been rude, but you did ask why.

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    • Most of his friends are guys so I don't know if he hangs out with any female friends alone.

      Yeah it just surprised me and felt hurtful. I'm going to wait a little then ask more but he didn't seem to want to say much else. I guess it's possible he was hurt by someone or something actually I don't know if this is a rumor or not but a few people had said a while back that he was molested by an adult when he was a child. Not sure if that's true or if that would mean anything towards me but still freaks me out thinking he said that to me

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  • It means you creep him out. Maybe you’re too quiet and leave people wondering who you really are.

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  • I've only been told that in reference to the amount of dangerous things that I research on the internet. Im definitely on a list somewhere

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