Is it normal for a young man to not drive, work, or leave home?

48% Normal
5 Comments

As a step-parent to a young adult that seems to have no motivation or self-esteem...help me out here. We all work, purchase homes, cars, travel. How can a young man (22) never drive, never date, no job, no college? How long can he be happy sitting at home like a hermit, playing video games while he's provided for?
Depression runs in his family, and I'm assuming that plays in to this. What do we do? What will motivate him to get off the couch and become self-sufficent and leave his comfortable nest?

Voting Results
48% Normal
Based on 48 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • ms_funion
    13 years ago

    I have an uncle like this. He gets panic attacks whenever he leaves his house and has to go out in public. Medication and therapy has helped somewhat.

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  • RentingEmotion
    13 years ago

    Remove the games. He might be so attached to the fantasy side of his life, that he just wants to stay there and not have to face reality. Games are not real. They provide entertainment which should not be taken to an obsessive level where it can ruin your life.

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  • KeyboardSolo
    13 years ago

    It's not normal, but it's far from unheard of. Depression and possibly social anxiety/phobia are probably the big causes. I was like him. If those are the reasons, threatening to kick him out, or threatening him at all simply won't work. Even if you follow through on your threats he'll just end up homeless and he might even kill himself once that happens.

    Depression can suck all the motivation and energy from you. It's likely that he isn't happy living the way he is. He simply doesn't think there's any other path for him. Depression is so much more than just sadness. It messes with your memory, your motivation, your energy, your ability to reason, etc. For some depressed people it is literally impossible for them to believe that things can change or get better, no matter how sound that logic can seem to you.

    Get him psychiatric help and therapy, and eventually if the treatment is helping enough he'll likely want to get a job and start living on his own. Therapy or medication alone won't fix everything, but in combination they can work wonders. Be patient though. It can take a long time to find the right medication and the right therapist.

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  • Cookies&Cream
    13 years ago

    Dude get a girl friend... have sex that out a do it. Sex is way better than video games try it out.lol. But seriously get help from a psycologist. Its obviously not normal, maybe try ti get motivated by yourself, go out more, get into college, meet new people and stuff like that.

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  • Slice_N_Dice
    13 years ago

    Forget medication, he's just being a lazy, selfish and wimpy piece of shit. It's easy. He has no money, therefore, he pays no bills. Stop paying for his internet/xbox/whatever, and convince the other parent to do the same. Tell the guy he's not getting it back unless he goes back to school or gets a job. Later on, you could try paying for a hooker without telling him. By the sounds of it, he's probably a virgin too and not very skilled when it comes to women.

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