Is it normal for a girl to have a few drinks and then just leave?

71% Normal

So, I went on a date with this girl I met online.

We seemed to have some chemistry, it wasn't like amazing or anything but we had something. It felt like it could grow.

We were very open with each other. She asked me how many women I had slept with, what the most traumatic experience I ever had was, what the worst thing I did. She told me about her family life growing up, what she thought the best thing in the world was, about a traumatic experience she had. It was engaging. It was vulnerable. It had substance.

We met at 8:15. I honestly didn't expect us to talk that long but we were together until 1:30 but once she saw the time she called an Uber and left kinda abruptly. I wasn't expecting to hook up or anything but I bought her four drinks and then she left without saying that it was nice to meet me, or that she enjoyed the time, or saying thanks. I mean, I get that we were both drunk and maybe she had work the next day, but still.

Is it normal to go on a date where they just leave abruptly at the end? I think she could contact me and we could meet again but I wouldn't be that surprised if she didn't.

From reading my own post I feel I sound so boring haha, is it true?

Voting Results

71% Normal

Based on 21 votes (15 yes)

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Comments ( 36 )

Indigo1

4 years ago

If I were you, I'd wait a day or two and see if you hear from her, if you don't.. maybe send out 1 message saying you'd be interested in going on a second date in a round about way and if she doesn't respond to that, then move on with that ball in her court.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  Thanks
  
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  - Indigo1
    
    4 years ago
    
    if you don't hear from her, i'd say it's very important to leave it at one and only one message too. Although it may be tempting, i'd argue the lack of desperateness and your ease of just flowing on shows that your not hurt by her stand up (even if you truly are)
    
    which id say plays to your benefit. That could actually make you look like a man with options and sort of reverse part of the "hard to get flow". if it does play out this way, and she does reach out at a later date after kicking you to the curb with no replies, i'd recommend keeping your cool and not jumping the gun, you have to reverse that role to where you are the hard one to get since she stood you up already, but be subtle about it, don't be toooo hard to get but just don't be so easy you jump right back into her life at the snap of her hand.
    
    AHH the games of love.. at least that's what i've found from my experience. Even if your over the moon for a girl...in those early stages its best to keep like your not completely sold on it all.
    
    Of course games are games ...you could just opt out of it all and look for those who want to be real. but sometimes you gotta play the game a bit in the beginning before you can both get real with each other.... allowing some time for ya both to catch up to the same feelings before one side goes spilling their love guts all over the sprouting seed in the other
    
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FromTheSouthWeirdGuy

4 years ago

I dont think it's a red flag.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
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  - FromTheSouthWeirdGuy
    
    4 years ago
    
    Did yall talk again yet?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      No. I haven't texted her.
      
      I'm considering not trying to because I feel so many strong emotions. I feel infatuated. I've pretty much thought about her nonstop.
      
      I hear myself saying in my head "I love her" and "no one compares". Seems so unhealthy for how little I know her. I don't know what's wrong with me.
      
      I'm unemployed right now anyway so I need to focus on getting a job and then maybe I can see about asking her out again. Right now it doesn't feel right though.
      
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      - FromTheSouthWeirdGuy
        
        4 years ago
        
        Yeah I hate dating. I remember those feelings. Its normsl. In 6 months youll look back and wonder what you saw in her.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        4 years ago
        
        I caved and texted her. All I said was was an answer to something she asked me in person during the date that I didn't get a chance to answer at the time. I sent the text 6 hours ago and she hasn't responded. In the past, she responded really promptly so right now I feel all anxious.
        
        Having emotions like this make me understand why some people opt for what I used to consider a 'boring' life. If she never texts me again then It's going to be tough recovering. I'll probably think about her non-stop for the next 3-4 days
        
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Itshuman

4 years ago

Weird double standards
Its rude
Inconsiderate of your time
Every one deservers a hello and goodbye.

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Tealights

4 years ago

Her behavior sounds normal to me. From my perspective, she talked to you for as long as she did and shared so much with you because she felt comfortable enough to do so, but along the way she probably wasn't sure where this was going and seeing the time made her nervous to be out that late. You're probably neither bad, nor boring; but just no spark like you said. If you felt no spark, then she most likely didn't feel it either, which is fine, it happens. However, she should have at least thanked you, but that could be just a bad manners thing.

My suggestion, just move on.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  We talked some more over text. Shared some music, and talked about food. We're going to a restaurant on Thursday
  
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  - Tealights
    
    4 years ago
    
    Nice!
    
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- [Old Memory]
  
  4 years ago
  
  The "spark" in most relationships dies eventually, so imo, the being comfortable and open with each other was of far more pertinence to their compatibility.
  
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  - Tealights
    
    4 years ago
    
    I agree with you, but you know how our generation is (millenials & Gen Z). Most of us want that RUSH when we meet someone new, and if that feeling isnt there then typically most would leave.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      But also the way I told the story had a pessimistic bent. (Maybe because I was a negativity bias/ was hungover the next morning. )
      
      There were some spark moments. When she was asking me about my sexual preferences she was making lots of silly faces at me and I could feel some sexual chemistry. Also, we talked about "casual sex". When she asked me what I thought I said something to the sort of: "why would you want something like sex to be causal? also, it's a lie anyway. sex is emotional and there are always strings attached" She agreed and went on a bit of a rant about it. So, some emotional/intellectual synergy.
      
      On top of this, I left out that we ran into some people, some old (someone she knew) and some new. I overheard her saying to the girl we met that she liked me and that I was very inquisitive. But also this could have easily just been strictly an expression of platonic affection.
      
      Also, this might sound odd and maybe overly romantic and delusional but, at certain points, I felt a kind of deep familiarity with her. Like there was a space opened up between us that I have known for a while but typically only go alone or have only shared seldomly with other people.
      
      And in fact, she did make some kind of gesture to me that she was leaving, she said: "Oh my rides coming, will you see me out?" But I did feel bummed that she didn't say: good bye or thanks. But also, maybe she did and I was too drunk to remember.
      
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  Rip
  
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  - Tealights
    
    4 years ago
    
    rip indeed.
    
    You sound like an alright guy, and if you can talk to a girl for 5 hours and not be like, "Okay, you owe me a dick sucking bitch, those drinks weren't cheap," then you'll definitely find a woman eventually. Just keep doing what you do.
    
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raisinbran

4 years ago

Social media behavior seeping into real life. You don't say bye to people, the conversation just ends abruptly and you never hear from them again.

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Doesnormalmatter

4 years ago

Only need the first sentence.... shit like this happens when you do that. Don't worry about it.

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Cuntsiclestick

4 years ago

Sounds like she wasn't feeling it after all that. Perhaps you should move on? It's not really worth it to wait on someone who isn't interested.

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Is it normal for a girl to have a few drinks and then just leave?