Is is normal to want to, but not want to.?

I'm 25, and most of my friends have children. I get in moods where aww I want a baby, then at other times I'm like hell no! I enjoy still "partying" being free.

Is it normal to feel this way, and I'm not planning on it right now, but when will ik for sure if/wen I'm actually ready?

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  • Who knows when it will be, but be assured you'll know when you're ready. Having kids is not something to rush.

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  • This sounds normal. Just don't rush into it! Some people are very happy being parents, others aren't cut out for it. It's a personal choice and it's permanent so choose wisely.

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  • You're young, and at the stage in your life where you are still gaining and testing your footing and independence. I think it's an absolutely normal feeling in your case, especially when you haven't had a baby as yet, and you are contemplating what it might be like.

    Considering the huge responsibility required to nurture a child into this unstable world, I'd say your fears are validated. However, the natural urge within you for procreation, as with all animal species, is a force that cannot be ignored.

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  • My kid was an accident, but I don't regret becoming a parent. I love it to bits and wouldn't change a thing.

    I don't understand this fear people have that they will lose their lives if they breed. I still do all the things I did before. If I wanna go out, I just have someone babysit - And I got to have a cute baby to come home and play with. Win-win for me.

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    • me personally I would feel bad to go out n have fun or what not, knowing my child is being watched by someone else who didn't birth them while I'm sucking down a long island. Lol. I dunno why but I just feel if I'm not doing anything productive then no one else should have to watch my child.

      Guess that kinda stems from wen I was about 10-11 my sisters were 1 and under 1 years old and I use to HATE having to watch them all the time for my mom. Especially when I wanted to go outside with my friends she made me take them with me.

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      • I don't like strangers watching my kids, but fortunately I have friends I trust. I'm sure you could get family or friends to help out if you did end up with a kid. There's a saying that it takes a village to raise a child.

        There have been plenty of studies on stress and quality alone time is one of the first recommendations, whether the stress is caused by work, children or marital problems. It's something every person needs to stay sane.

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  • Having kids used to be a completely rational choice since they were the parents' retirement plan.

    Having kids these days is rarely a rational decision, and they usually are the result of birth control failure, caving to family or social pressures, blissful ignorance about what's entailed by having a kid, a feeling that it's the "normal" thing to do, or the primal urge to reproduce.

    There's no guarantee that you'll ever be ready to have a kid, and that's fine.

    By the way, don't believe a word your friends say about what it's like having a kid. Lots of parents feel a need to talk-up the joys of parenthood and minimise the hassles and expense. A cynic would suggest the old adage about misery loving company is applicable. I think it's because once you've made a decision, you desperately need to believe it was the correct one.

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    • thanks

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    • "birth control failure" being the key-expression, right?

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      • It was in the case of our daughter.

        I'm thrilled she's in my life and I love her to bits, but she's the result of an accident.

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        • I'm not sure why this has been thumbed-down... anyway, I'm under the impression most kids nowadays aren't planned.

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        • What 2 idiots voted that down? Ditto one of my grandsons but who cares now, he's a wonderful young man. I doubt if he knows he was a "mistake" and I don't believe any child needs to be told that.

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          • me personally ik I was a mistake, but it doesn't hurt my feelings. because my upbringing showed different. I was loved. Then spoiled, until about 9-10 then I had two sisters back to back lol. But my mom still to this day loves me and will do anything for me and my sisters.

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          • I have mixed feelings about parents telling kids that. If a kid grows up hearing that they're the result of an accident and getting all sorts of messages that their presence is resented, that can obviously leave them messed-up. I'd like to think that our daughter knows she's loved unconditionally, so we probably will tell her when she'd older. I don't think it's a bad thing for a young woman to know that she's living proof that it only takes one time...

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            • What feels really weird to me is that my daughter was very young at the time and so was her bloke, she was planning on beginning further education and the pregnancy was the result of a contraceptive failure, so I suggested abortion.

              She was seriously considering this until a Right to Life type nurse showed her the ultrasound and kept referring to the foetus as a "little baby" ....... anyway, I'm glad she changed her mind and so is she, but my wonderful eldest grand child nearly didn't exist! Her second and third children were planned.

              My daughter, on the other hand (only child) was very much planned: I took 6 months to check out if my desire for a child was firm, went off the pill and became pregnant immediately.

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  • I 30 and dont want any babby.

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    • Who will take care of you in old age ?

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      • No one. I can take care of myself and i dont need any help.

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      • my future husband, or my sisters. I've changed a life time of diapers from them,they can do the same 😂😂, or their kids if they have any (they're only 15 and 16 RN)...

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  • I get fleeting moments of desperately wanting a kid. Then I come to my senses and realize they're irrational, unpredictable, annoying parasites.

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  • I've NEVER wanted a baby, partying or not.

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