Is it normal to think we're compatible?

We're not ignorant regarding the nature of that feeling that binds people together. You understand the proper procedures for navigating such an affair, as does yours truly. I am searching for a type of commitment that one is unlikely to get from any other male of my species. I wish to convey my strongly held sentiments to you, in hopes that you might comprehend the nature of that which I hope to impart:

1. I shall not, in this lifetime or any other possible ones, trade you for some other pursuit.
2. I assert that I will not at any time find it within me to disappoint you, or that I will act the tomcat and abandon you.
3. I do solemnly swear that I shall never engage in actions which result in you staining your face with physical manifestations of distress.
4. I shall never bid you farewell.
5, It will be a cold day in hell before I cause you some manner of vexation by feeding you false information.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 10 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • This is how I would talk to a half-smoked cowboy-killer I found on a snowbank before passing out in 2017

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    • We have held in our possession knowledge of one another for a period of time greater than normal. Your metaphorical organ that lies at the center of actions carried out by the circulatory system has been experiencing gnawing pains, but you lack the resolve to bring this to everyone's awareness. The two of us are aware of what is presently occurring at this moment in time - we know the jig and we're going to dance it. Should you ask about my deeply held sentiments, do not pretend that you lack the necessary visual prowess to detect them.

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  • 1. Marriage is "'til death do us part", which means that, in death, the marital vow is broken. Thus, this part is pointless and generally counterintuitive. It reminds me of the quote from Hamlet: "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

    2. Life disappoints, and just providing required negative information can disappoint.

    3. Swearing is pointless: "let your speech be yea, yea: no, no: and that which is over and above these, is of evil."

    4. Again marriage is "'til death do us part".

    5. Hell, by its very nature, oscillates between very hot and very cold.

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    • Are you having an anonymous conversation with yourself again?

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      • I've never done that, and I wouldn't care to do it. That just sounds boring. On the other hand, taking nonsense and responding to it as though it's serious is kind of fun, in my opinion.

        Edit: You really think I'd Rickroll myself?

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    • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

      Your theology is as good as destroyed. Martin Luther's got nothing on me today.

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      • Ignoring the Rickroll, Martin Luther was a total fiend. Of course, it could be easily said that he has nothing on modern heretics, since, for example, John Calvin was exponentially worse than Luther, and the people who came from his stupidity are even worse than him.

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        • But a counter argument is that Catholic priests and nuns are constantly masturbating because they are subconsciously aware that they are following a false religion.

          Oh Mighty Clunk, you must have some kind of retort.

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          • Masturbation breaks monastic vows, and to break one's monastic vows is to commit a heinous mortal sin, damning oneself and likely barring oneself from reentry to the Church. Monks have plenty of time to determine if the monastic life is for them before they take their long-term vows. If someone who is called to marriage takes a monastic oath and ends up masturbating, he has damned himself, and its entirely his fault.

            If they are truly "aware that they are following a false religion" they would not be monks to begin with. Monks, especially, of all people, are very good at discerning and avoiding sin, since they are acutely aware of the necessity of their salvation.

            In the case of Luther, he was not called to be a monk. He promised God he'd become a monk in exchange for his life, and he fulfilled that promise. Later, due to him not being called to be a monk, he broke his monastic vows along with a nun, who also broke her vows, and he spent a large portion of the rest of his life trying to justify to himself and others his immoral sexual actions. As we all know, Luther is the man who said,

            "Be a sinner and sin boldly, but believe and rejoice in Christ even more boldly. For he is victorious over sin, death, and the world.No sin will separate us from the Lamb, even though we commit fornication and murder a thousand times a day."

            He was also a supporter of polygamy. He also suggested that if a woman were to go behind her husband's back and have sex with his brother, then claim any children that might arise to be her husband's, she would certainly be in a state in which can be saved.

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            • So, I see. A life of desperation, alienation, and validation of emotional slavery. No wonder so many nuns and priests self-flagellate. I have seen movies of groups of nuns flagellating each other in the witching hours of the night. Naked, shrieking, moaning in the demonic pain of sexual arousal, all the while driven by compulsion for unfulfilling catharsis from their torment.

              The dimly lit dungeons must accentuate the despair of the forsaken. There is compelling creepiness filling their hearts with venom. Good material for wanking if sick lesbianism is your kink.

              Thumbs up for Rev. Luther. At least he pulled his pants down and fucked like a normal guy.

              Thanks for your response, Clunk. I now better understand the uneasy darkness of the monastic mind.

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