Is it normal to think about sex more often than hubby but scared to initiate

83% Normal

So my hubby is usually preoccupied with video games but willing to get off if I need him, however after being together for almost a decade our sexual stuff has slowed way down. Although I know this is normal for the heat to dissipate after so long, I want that spark back and I just know he isn't going to chase me like he used to. I can think all day while he is at work about how I'd like to initiate but always seem to chicken out or get over stressed about it before I can make it happen. Maybe because I imagine being this outgoing sensual woman and have never been her. Is it normal to run into these problems after 9ish years? What can I do to simplify things and ask for what I need? Is there anything I can do to make him want me again? The problem I keep running into is that I'm not horny but want to be and I know he wont do anything to jump start it.

Voting Results

83% Normal

Based on 36 votes (30 yes)

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Comments ( 20 )

Ellenna

7 years ago

Ever tried texting him during the day when you're feeling horny so that he's horny too when he walks in the door? Be specific about what you'd like to happen when he gets home

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  I have tried this actually, and he doesn't seem horny when he walks in the door. He might tell me the next day that I made him think about it while at work, but the dysfunction in our relationship isn't just me. Hell, I've even sent him nudes and he comes home like everythings totally normal.
  
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Cocomilktitties

7 years ago

I think you should just talk to him and tell him how you feel about it. Both of your needs should be met. It's better to just be honest than to hold in all your feelings. You guys are married. You should be very open with each other. Don't feel bad talking about it. It's okay and normal.

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Anonymous Post Author

7 years ago

Either he doesn't really have fantasies, or he's just very basic. head, ass boinking. Nothing extra special.

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matches

7 years ago

Spice things up in the bedroom try blind folds try feeding each other try watching porn together it will make you both horny try lighting a bunch of candles and then melting some wax on him. Try using matches by striking them really hard near his cock the smell of the sulphur along with the warmth of the match flame will make him hard as a rovk you can keep striking them and jerk him till he cums or use the matches as a kinky way to get horny

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  We have already had a rough time with the porn issue. It doesn't make me horny, it makes me self conscious and feel like he doesn't need me. It's extremely unrealistic and not only will I never look like them, I am more than just a sponge with holes... You can't boink me the way you can boink those women. I want a real boinking not one full of unrealistic expectations.
  
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CozmoWank

7 years ago

Wait until he's asleep, wrap your thighs around his head and start riding his face.

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opnbk55

7 years ago

Though I did say normal, I hate to say that it is normal. As a gamer myself, I have never understood what choice is there, my wife in bed, or a game. Heck most gamers spend more time picking out fake weapons anyway. Make a deal, you won't spoil his end game attacks by turning off the cable to the gamming system, and you get some before AND after. Good Luck, you can always find a gamer tag to whisper in his ear that is not playing rightnow because you are meeting him for coffee.....lol

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peterrabbyt3

7 years ago

do you suck his cock and swallow?

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- Doggysue
  
  7 years ago
  
  Yes do you
  
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  - peterrabbyt3
    
    7 years ago
    
    Never met the fucking guy
    
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  Is it really necessary to swallow? I mean, the dick is still getting sucked bro.
  
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  - mrbrownfinger7
    
    7 years ago
    
    It's all about the finish though
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      7 years ago
      
      I asked him and he doesn't share your view. He doesn't expect me to be a porn star.
      
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      - mrbrownfinger7
        
        7 years ago
        
        he's not a real man then
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        7 years ago
        
        LMAO there is no such thing as a "real man" just different people with different needs. Have you ever wondered if your porn addiction is coming between you and "real women?"
        
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rayb12

7 years ago

You have to do 3 things.
1. Imagine that you are the hottest person ever, like hot as fuck, hotter than the horrest person, and just force yourself to keep thinking that at all costs.
2. Imagine your husband is ugly as fuck, completely fucking worthless and uninteresting. And totally desperate for anything he can get.
3. Imagine that you two are friends, this is like a platonic friendship you would have with a girl, and you are just trying to be nice and decent and have fun with him.
Once you are in this mindset, everything should work.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  7 years ago
  
  How could I imagine something so horrid about the man I love dearly and find attractive? Plus if he was desperate for anything he could get, I've been right here the whole time and he isn't grasping at straws to get me.
  
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  - rayb12
    
    7 years ago
    
    He is not desperate nevermind.
    
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Is it normal to think about sex more often than hubby but scared to initiate