Is it normal to not want a family?

In my 30s, female, single. I cannot stand the idea of having a family of my own because it would be extremely overwhelming. I spent most of my life helping my parents and basically living their lives for them (doing things for them, making decisions, etc) and that wore me out. The idea that I'd do it again with a husband and kids terrifies me because I've come to absolutely hate helping other people, even if it's irrational. Like, I could not handle a 2 year old not dressing themselves and that I would have to do it for them -- even though that is a completely irrational thought because obvi a 2 year old isn't capable of doing that on their own.

I also don't trust men after my few relationships ended up with every one of them randomly dumping me and leaving. I would be scared of it happening again if I actually built a life with someone else. It's so easy for people to leave me.

I hate feeling this way but I also don't. I'm mostly scared of being along when I'm old and possibly being poor and having no one to fall back on. Also having no one around if I get sick or have an emergency.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 6 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Totally normal.

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  • Having a family is a freedom killer & leads to stress/financial hell so i'm with you on that, I'm far to selfish to make myself miserable to make another happy.

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  • You have seen the bitter reality. I have also come to the conclusion that there is no need to force yourself into a box just to fit the mold of society. Sure, people would dislike you for being different, but what is more important is that you are at peace with yourself.

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    • "no need to force yourself into a box just to fit the mold of society" is 100% accurate. I feel like a lot of people do exactly that, and I sometimes wondered how happy they actually are. They can't be, can they? From just what I've seen around my neighborhood, couples are all the same -- get married in your early 30s, move into a brand new home, have your first baby within 1 year, and have your 2nd baby a year later. It's like they're all living from a pre-written storyboard, or a "mold" like you referred to. That's fine if you WANT that, but I feel a lot of people are just living to fit that mold, and living on auto-pilot, instead of doing what actually makes them happy. Idk. I might be the one sad and alone when I'm 60, and they won't be.

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      • Well, if it's any consolation, we are in the same boat with the same thoughts right now.

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  • Given what you say you have a totally sane approach.

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