Is it normal to have these urges

Stay loyal to your husband, or get a divorce.

I think it's normal to have those thoughts once in a while but not to feel compelled to act on them. It's okay if you acknowledge them as fantasies but if you feel you'd like that for real...

So, what the world doesn't yet want to recognize even though the evidence is continuously in front of us, humans are not monogamous. People are continuously attracted to people other than their partners, and we choose to ignore this and believe that it isn't relevant information. It tells us things about humans that scare us. You want to sleep with other men than your husband because it is your biological urge to procreate with multiple men, especially ones you've never met that are more alpha/dominant types, because from a biological perspective they are most likely to give you strong offspring. It is completely normal and healthy. Did you know that in a man's sperm there are sperms whose only purpose is to find and kill other men's sperm? This means that our biology is designed around a woman having the sperm of more than one man in her at a time so that the healthiest of all the males will produce the sperm that wins out, thereby strengthening humans biologically. And everybody flips out if their partner "likes somebody else." Check out the book Sperm Wars.

We just have forgotten that humans have been having loads of sex with many partners all over the world...until the agricultural revolution that gave us cities and structure and religion that told us it was wrong if we had sex with more than one person. Check out the book Sex At Dawn which goes into the history of human sexuality. It is much much different than our current cultural paradigms, which means that the way we structure our relationships is very limiting and lessens our happiness because it goes directly against our very nature. We "should" be allowed by our partners to sleep with who want under whatever safety conditions we agree upon. I know that it has hurt me in the past when I've been in a monogamous relationship and met someone else that I like that my heart or pants want to open up to but I wouldn't allow myself to out of guilt and fear because of my current relationship. Having also been in an open relationship, I can have sex with someone other than my partner and still be fully sexually charged and actually moreso for my girlfriend afterward. Having sex with someone new is a great experience and it is good for us in many ways. It literally recharges our zest for life and our sexuality. It is NOT wrong. It is very helpful however to gain some understanding of how to manage these types of relationships because 21st century humans are only taught how to manage monogamous relationships. There are people out there that teach this.

I have these feelings toward other men and never act on them because I love my girlfriend and don't wish to hurt her. Always remember this isn't safe behavior either...

I've never been married, but when I'm in a relationship with a guy that i really like i ONLY see them. Everything else is like oblivious to me. But that being said obviously i fantasize about other guys especially hot actors on tv. All i can say is that if you truly love your husband fantasize all you want but don't act on your thoughts.