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I have so many good ideas that would take less effort than writing this post or a job referral that I know I could get if I just finished the essay application bc very smart And pretty charming but I seriously have zero motivation even to go to a website, say some shit And submit it or make something and sell it but I just don't care enough or have so.e kind of block....what's wrong with me???
There is confidence and competence. Right now you have the confidence that you could do pretty smart things, to quote your own words but there's nothing in your post that guarantees that you have the competence (the ability to do those things).
Your problem might be you fear that you might not be competent despite being full of confidence. And unless you try you'll never know and you'll continue to live in that illusion.
Confidence is great but should always be substantiated with competence.
I actually won a 150K grant from Pepsi bc I threw together a business plan compete with a board of directors when they had some contest. I had to turn it down bc I had no real way to implement it. That was during a manic episode, which may explain a lot.
That's a great response, thank you. Maybe I'm afraid I don't have the competence even though I have plenty of confidence.