Is it normal to have fetish admission anxiety

94% Normal
9 Comments

So I'm not a pushy person by any stretch of the imagination, I'm a lover not a fighter and I'd like to embrace myself sexually but the anxiety I have surrounding my fetishes refuses to let me.

I'm really laid back with practically everything, but when it comes to getting into bed with a partner and telling her what i'm into, my hands go all clammy, my chest feels tight, and my heart rate starts racing to something inhuman.

I'm not even into anything illegal, as far as fetishes go, mine are arguably quite tame (pee, ice, oil, rope, spanking, fun with foodstuffs), but I never see it from the perspective of "well if she loves me maybe she won't mind".

My train of thought always makes me think she'll think it's weird, slap me, jump out of bed immediately, and run a mile. My anxiety increases when I have genuine feelings for the girl i'm sleeping with and no girl who is serious about finding someone wants to hear about fetishes upfront. It's very frustrating.

Is it normal?

Voting Results
94% Normal
Based on 18 votes (17 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 9 )
  • Strangeways
    3 years ago

    My experience with women is that they can be fascinated by fetishes, and actually have quite a watchful eye for them. But it took me quite a while to find a way of being comfortable with talking about my 'shit' because of that fear that once you've said something that crosses a line in a relationship you can't unsay it.

    All of the women that I've known since I got brave enough to open up have been interested in what excites me and are up for most things as long as their personalities are not in any way taking a very firm second place to the activity in question.

    I tend to be attracted to women with dominant streaks and therefore they are much more likely to want to tie me up or spank me than be tied up or spanked. But the point is, you just need to learn to recognise that glint in their eye when a few hints are dropped that you may be interested in something a bit 'naughty.

    Food play is, I think, a very safe one. If she likes sex, and likes the enjoyment of food, then what's not to like about combining them?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    3 years ago

    (pee, ice, oil, rope, spanking, fun with foodstuffs)

    sounds last time i went icefishin

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      LOL this made my day xD

      You win the internet today my friend.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Schizotravestie
    3 years ago

    I think the foods on her body you can ask her.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Strangeways
      3 years ago

      Completely agree. Is there some part of her body that she specially likes being kissed, or licked? Then see if she'll let you introduce food into the equation? Or is it that you want her to eat stuff off of you, rather than you off of her?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • LondonGoldman
    3 years ago

    Drink a few shots of whiskey and when you are having sex just spank her starting lightly. Then eventually while hr fucking say I wanna put oil on ur ass. Then say I wanna tie ur hands behind ur back. You dont need to sit down and have a discussion. Worst thing that happens is you spank her or bring out oil and shes like nah

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Schizotravestie
      3 years ago

      spanking during sex? no no no !
      would you like someone to hit you?
      do you think that pain is appreciated by a lot of people?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Anonymous Post Author
        3 years ago

        You'd be surprised. In the BDSM community, spanking is probably the most popular fetish there is.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Schizotravestie
          3 years ago

          Yes in the BDSM community surely.
          I'm not from this community, you hurt me on purpose, I'm not giving you a slap: I'm going to blow your head off. sorry.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0