Is it normal to hate when parents blog about their childs disorders

I have autism and when I search for fellow bloggers, often I come across parents who blog about their autistic children with actual photos of their kids faces and details about their kids and how difficult their lives are etc.
I already am against uploading photos of your children to social media as it is trashy and selfish, these parents are often young and wants to use their poor children as props and to be like "look how cuutee" as if its a pet and no care about predators who lurk these photos or the childs general privacy as a child cannot consent to being on the internet. Well it's even worse when the child is somehow disabled and the parent just decides to take the libery of writing in detail about the childs difficulites and complaining on the internet. These are bad parents who thinks their children are not human with emotions and their own will. I feel like to these parents it makes them ~special~ and deserving of sympathy and they can have other parents go on their comments and write about how strong and amazing they are etc and that's the only reason they blog about this. It's up to each person what they are okay with the entire world knowing. Personally, yes, the world needs more knowledge about autism and other disorders but from the source. Not from self involved parents and such. Maybe these kids when they grow up they realize they dont want everyone to know they're autistic or at least not to know about every detail of the struggles they've faced growing up but guess what, now it's out there. It's just awful behaviour.

Is It Normal?
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  • When I see those I'm like no one cares.

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  • I couldn't agree more, this shit pisses me the fuck off too. Parents are supposed to be -guardians- of their children, not their fucking /keepers/.

    With that being said, I also don't believe that these parents are necessarily bad people at all. In general, I think that they just don't get it, and their minds and views are far too easily tainted by outside sources. A part of being human, be it for better or worse.

    It's also been beaten into most people's heads, at least where I live (though I still suspect this is probably a global thing...), that children are supposed to be controlled. They are essentially loved as people, but still treated as possessions. A lot of things are to be blamed for this: culture, religion, opinions of friends and family, etc. etc...

    I could go on, but I'm sure you know what I mean. I sure would be pissed if my family did that shit to me too, even though I'm basically neurotypical. I get it though I agree with basically everything you wrote, I too think that it's awful behaviour.

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  • I always find those videos uncomfortable, but I can understand how it can be “natural” to the parents. You have to understand that the scenarios you see (like tantrums or outbursts or episodes) that seem so extreme and upsetting to see, is probably the norm for them.

    A neurodivergent child having an emotional outburst may look crazy to us, but it may be the same as videoing any other “regular” child activity. Exploitation of such disabilities is absolutely horrendous though. Using your child as a “show”

    I had a horse who would experience seizures. Watching a seizure will give you one of the most powerless feelings in the world. And my vet asked me to video them, as she couldn’t be here 24/7 to monitor him to wait for one. That shit SUCKED. I watched horse seizures on YouTube so I could better understand the starting signs and how they went. I guarantee every single person who saw those videos would say “Why the hell are you just standing there videotaping ?!” Cause I thought the same thing, but it helped remove the shock and made it easier for me to work with my guy while he went through his.

    What I’m getting at, is it may be uncomfortable as hell for you to watch, and it probably is uncomfortable as hell for everyone involved, but when you can mentally prepare for such things by “seeing them before they happen”, you may be better equipped to handle a situation.

    Kinda reminds me of how trauma nurses have incredibly dark humor, part of coping I guess

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    • Yeah I just said I am autistic though i've never had those tantrums (I have shutdowns and panic attacks) but my sibling had as a kid.
      And it is not normal to film that or any other thing your child does and treat them as inhumane objects like that.
      It's different if an autistic person has agreed to having a meltdown or something filmed for educational purposes though I think most of us would find it traumatizing to be exploited in such a vunerable position especially a child. And a horse is not a human being, a horse will never grow up and be like "damn why the fuck is this on the internet, I don't want people to see me like this" but I don't know, maybe that's how you view disabled people.
      Those parents are nothing but disrespectful and not treating their children like in a humane way.

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  • "I feel like to these parents it makes them ~special~ and deserving of sympathy and they can have other parents go on their comments and write about how strong and amazing they are etc and that's the only reason they blog about this."

    Completely agreed! I know someone my age with a mother like this, and I can't help but feel as if it is all an attention show and pity party about her. The worst part is that she pretty much makes his (very mild) autism his entire identity and goes on and on about his "severe sensory disorder" and how he has to constantly "conquer challenges other people don't". There isn't a single post she has written about him that doesn't mention it (and isn't the main point of the post, even when he was celebrating an accomplishment like graduating college). It's done nothing but damage his confidence when he's actually a perfectly functional member of society. I feel as if this kind of stuff is just parents trying to compete in the Misery Olympics for whose job as a parent is hardest, and for them to feel special, like you said. TBH, most parents I've met like these tend to have some very narcissistic qualities.

    I also think it doesn't need to be out there for the entire world to see, either. That is most definitely attention seeking, or at least someone who doesn't understand that they're putting their child's personal life on display for everyone, including some very sick people (also why I'm not big on kids on social media, especially anything that shouldn't be on there in the first place, and/or on a public profile/site; though you never really know who a lot of your social media acquaintances and anyone who has access to their accounts are really like, either).

    To be honest, I believe the world has gone way too far with the mental illness thing. Yes, they exist and are very real, but it's become something a lot of people obsess over, not to mention that it seems the new "thing" is diagnosing anyone who has even the most harmless idiosyncrasies with some sort of mental disorder (what happened to me, and was later discovered to be BS). I've noticed it's also commonly used as an excuse for why people can't even try to do certain things and they're encouraged to just give up and accept that they can't, rather than giving it a good, honest try. Honestly, seeing many of the adults in my life have so little faith in me as a kid and tell me I couldn't do things destroyed my confidence, and it's been a real struggle trying to overcome the "quit before you try" mindset it instilled in me (and I was very much the opposite before).

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    • I agree but not with the last part. Mental illness has gotten more widely accepted and has always been common but people didn't get diagnosed as often but also suffered more from it and experienced misunderstanding, bullying and failure.
      Though it's wrong to say to people to just give up. There's ways to combat not being able to do things. Personally I have executive dysfunction which is not exactly laziness because I can't even make my body agree to do things I want to do and that are fun. It takes a lot to get past, push yourself constantly. Very exhausting, at least until you find something that works to make it easier. I don't think most people use their issue as an excuse, why would people want to suffer and not accomplish anything they want and if they do then they're most likely depressed which causes you to lack all motivation and be negative and seemingly "lazy" and this needs attention to so one can combat it but yeah in an encouraging way not telling people to give up but i've never seen or heard anyone do that personally other than in a healthy giving yourself a break sometimes type of way.

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      • What I meant is that other people (usually shrinks, and/or in the case of kids, teachers and parents) usually use it as an excuse for why those kids cannot do certain things without even urging them to try (and this is especially prevalent with mild autism/Asperger's in my experience). In turn, this does sometimes cause the people with the disorders to shut down and believe they're not capable when they might be.

        Don't get me wrong, I think being able to diagnose mental disorders that would've previously been undiagnosed is good, but I think it's going too far in the other direction of trying to diagnose even the most harmless idiosyncrasies as signs of mental disorders, when in fact EVERYONE has idiosyncrasies of some sort. In my case, the things that were considered "wrong" with me were that I preferred to go off and do my own thing and didn't have much interest in some of the things other kids did (which is a personality trait that runs in my family, we're just different), along with the normal self consciousness and anxiety that come with going through puberty, and apparently I couldn't read facial expressions 100% perfectly, but what 12-year-old can? Now I'm above average at it, because I have over twice the amount of life experience I did then. That was simply a byproduct of youth and inexperience, and is to be expected. It definitely did way more damage to be misdiagnosed with Asperger's, anxiety, and depression and to be medicated with SSRIs that caused way worse issues than I had ever had, than whatever me simply being different could've caused.

        If someone has an issue that is affecting their quality of life, by all means it should be addressed, but it crosses the line when people start looking for the slightest thing that doesn't fit their definition of "normal" in an otherwise perfectly functional and content member of society (and whose definition of normal is correct, anyway?).

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  • You should hate people who have blogs.

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