Is it normal to get really stressed about bad behavior?

I keep getting really stressed out about others bad behavior. Either the way I’m being treated, or I witness them treating others badly. The former is worse, because I feel like I can’t stop it, I get excruciatingly mad it’s happening, and I immediately start thinking about leaving the situation, even if I confront the person.
I have a hard time telling people NO, and a harder time leaving circumstances, and knowing what to do next.

Sometimes it’s others rudeness towards me, making me feel like I don’t matter, or even treating me like a b*tch. An example of this is a coworker, asking me to ‘do a favor’ and I do it, and there’s resentment because I kinda knew I shouldn’t have to do it, that it’s his job or he could have done it himself. It leaves me feeling taken advantage of, and that even if I tell him no next time, I’m stressed there will be a next time; and I don’t want any of this in my life, I don’t want people like this in my life, I’m tired of it.
And most distressing is realizing I want to change the situation and feeling like I can’t do anything about it; I don’t know what to do next or they’re not gonna hire me, or the same shit is gonna keep happening... I want good people in my life who wouldn’t think of treating me rudely or taking advantage of me.

Is It Normal?
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  • I think that it's one of the most normal things you can do to feel bothered by seeing others treat someone badly or treat you badly. Too many people are completely unbothered by these things and act badly themselves though no one's perfect but there's a difference between being snarky because you're in a bad mood and always treating people badly on purpose.

    I react the same way as you. Same when I hear people trash talk someone beind that persons back and such, I refuse to join in on it. Unfortunately when you're a good person and slightly too nice/naive bad people will 100% be attracted to you because they see you as someone they can easily take advantage of and if they realize they were wrong they'll dump you just as fast and try to paint you as the bad guy. Bad people don't want to associate with people who use the same tactics as them for obvious reasons. You've got to learn to set STRICT boundries and NEVER stray from them, EVER. That way those bad people will soon leave you alone on their own and DON'T let them make you feel bad about your boundries which they 100% will as a last attempt to get control over you. They KNOW that your kindness is easy to use against you that way!

    You'll soon meet good people like yourself and they'll respect your boundries and respect you for having them.
    Personal experience.
    Hope that helps.

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    • I can understand this and relate... I had people in my life before that weren’t good for me and I distance myself from them. It could be happening again but it’s going to take time and perspective for me to realize what’s good for me. I lose myself easily in order to stay comfortable or safe or just to have some kind of attention/social life.

      But I think I have even trouble nowadays with people being snarky. It’s as if I can’t handle it and I don’t even want it to happen, why are they being rude or mean to me? And I get so flustered. I quit a job recently because of these reasons, I couldn’t handle some of the rude treatment by my managers/their snippiness, unfriendliness.

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  • You can always change the situation, no one can force you to do or put up with anything. You just need more confidence and to not be afraid to upset or inconvenience people.

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