Is it normal to feel life is over before it began

I’m not even 20 yet, but I feel like the golden years/good times are over, and the only thing that lies ahead is sufferage and lonliness. I’ve never been in a relationship, and every time i’ve gotten close they all dump me and start making fun of me/taking me for granted. For fucks sakes, Ive battled alcoholism and suicidal tendencies (feats I know many wiser and older people can’t pull) and won before i’ve even made a significant romantic connection with someone. As soon as I hit 21-23 I know i’m gonna go from being a 5/10 to a 3. I only have two irl friends, and two internet friends that I feel im drifting away from anyway. I don’t know how to “put myself out there”, much less talk like a normal, functioning neurotypical member of society.

Has/does anybody feel this way? How do you get out of it? And obviously, is it normal to feel like my life is already over?

Voting Results
88% Normal
Based on 25 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • Boogienights

    This website is not a good place to seek advise for such matters. Its frequented by trolls and mostly all youll get here is mean, nasty and cocky comments which may erode your esteem, trust, view of life even more if youre very sensitive.

    Try to reflect about why you feel how you do. Nothing exists in a vacuuum. But do this with gentleness and compassion. Treat yourself like a small wounded animal that you need to nurse back to health. What you said about "life is already over before it began" is actually very wise. Buddhists teach this very concept. However, its not this that causes the suffering. Its the wanting it to be another way. Its the clinging. The aversion and resistance to what is and what always has been. If you can accept what is, accept the true nature of reality, you will begin to live life more fully. The trick is to die before you die! Mental states are self perpetuating and can be either negative or positive. Its the nature of conditionality. What we cultivate will grow. So try be aware when youre beginning to get sucked down into that negative cycle. Do things to pull yourself out. Go for a walk, a swim, commune with nature. There are many things.

    Many people go through life in a very delusional way. Caught up in petty and trivial matters and dramas. Unable to face their impending death because they are afraid or they dont think it will ever happen to them. They spend their days building a false image of themselves which they present to the world. A facade. Look at me Im a doctor, Im important. Look at me Im famous, Im so popular. Look at me Im a politician, Im so powerful etc etc. They cannot face the fact that in a very short space of time they will be dust. Forgotten forever. Their egos wont allow them to face this reality. Its not to say there is anything wrong with these roles. We need people like doctors and politicians. But when we dont realise that thats all it is, a role, then we create problems.

    Life has ups and downs, troughs and peaks, ebbs and flows. When youre on a peak prepare for a downturn. When youre in the drought know that soon the flood will arrive. Ride lightly in the saddle. Its very difficult sometimes and moreso when youre young and inexperienced but keep going. Know that your happiness is not out there in anyone or anything. Its within you.

    Try to not get sucked in to the toxic culture we have been indoctrinated into since birth. See it for what it is. Just do what you have to do to get by in life and keep focusing on the positive. Avoid negative people. Youre better off alone than spending time with people who will drag you down. Find people to lift you up and inspire you. They are far and few between but they are out there. Help others and be kind. Thats whats most important. Make sure to take time regularly to sit in nature. It will refresh and revive you. Go to the beach or the forest. Look at the stars. Remember we are part of this earth. Not separate from it.

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    • dolphinsneeze

      "Ride lightly in the saddle" <3
      Thank you for such a lovely and thoughtful post.

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      • Boogienights

        Youre very welcome dolphin 🙏

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    • bogbrush

      Boogienights, this is excellent advice and I enjoyed reading it. Lose desire and just exist is now my way of living. If you get depressed then allow yourself to sink to the bottom,because eventually you will start to come up. Give up giving a shit about what other people think of you and learn to enjoy being your own best friend. You probably feel like the only person who can't connect, but there are millions out there who feel the same. Just be yourself, you will be o.k.

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      • Boogienights

        Hey bogbrush lol great name. Its the advise I give myself. Glad you got something from it 😊

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    • Wellyoudliketoknoweh

      You sir, are a very good writer and analyst

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      • Boogienights

        Thank you. I think a lot about things and read lots about this kind of thing. I think we all have inner wisdom. We just need to tap into it. We can become so easily lost because we are bombarded by so many different and contradicting messages. So much distraction.

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  • sallimae76

    I felt the same way. Wrote in my diary that I was washed up at 21 for not being an Olympian or child prodigy. Listen, most people find purpose later in life. Research careers. I became a public defender and it changed my life. Best job I ever had, found purpose for living. I should have never left that job. Find a fun career. You can do anything, like work on a cruise ship.

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  • raisinbran

    It means your life is about to end.

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  • TerriAngel

    Therapy is a lot of B.S.
    Never heard so many lies.
    The closest thing to therapy is talking to other patients before hand.
    NO, you cant trust therapist.
    Their paycheck is their GOD.
    Get clear of that mess.
    You have 2 issues to fix.
    Personal image, and location.
    If you are some fat lump living at home, playing video games.
    Youre life will suck.
    No matter who you are, if youre living in a crap location.
    Your life will suck.
    So, figure it out.
    Improve yourself, or your location.
    In case your wondering.
    Vegas is pretty awesome.
    You either make it, or you dont.
    But its never cold or boring.

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    • bogbrush

      Very true TerriAngel.

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      • TerriAngel

        Thank u.
        still working on me.
        But some great advice I was once given.
        They dropped everything and moved.
        Because they KNEW matter of fact, with zero dought.
        The guy they wanted, was not in or from the area they were in.
        Hope you figure out your path.
        Its not easy.

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  • chuy

    Welcome to da club!

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  • Doesnormalmatter

    You have depression, get help for that. You aren't enjoying life as much as you should. Leanr to enjoy the small things and don't think so negatively.

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    • I am in therapy already I just cant tell the truth because I don’t trust any of those fucks. I lie half the time and whenever they say something to me and tell me how obvious my problems are to not just me but everyone around I feel worse.

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      • Doesnormalmatter

        Well theres your problem. Fix that before you try to blame everyone else please.

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        • Who am I blaming but me?

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          • Doesnormalmatter

            Society at large it seems like. And also the people in your relationships who all broke up with you. Was that always their fault or could you have been better?

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            • Well, not to shove off blame, but my relationships only ended because they changed, not me. And I don’t blame society for rejecting me or anybody else, as this is just the natural order of things. I’m just upset, and have a bleak outlook on the future in general.

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