Is it normal to feal guilt about not being hit as a child / wish my parents beat me

9% Normal
7 Comments

I grew up fairly normal(low middle class) as a single child my parents never really smacked me I got like one spanking ever and I always fealy guily about it because my family would always tell stories about how there parents did some heinous shit like my mother had her face pressed against a heatlamp and my father was used as a human sheild so his father didnt shoot her, I constantly feel like a awful person because that stuff didnt happen to me.

Since I was about 10 I would whip my self with powercourds and hit my head against the refrigerator to try and feel less guilty, am 19 and working on stoping now but its really hard once you have the mussle memory, one time when I about 14 turned on the tv and the rich girl's song from the charlie and the choclate factory was on and I legitimately contemplated suicide.

Sometimes I feel like if my parents smacked me a few times there woundt be any guilt and I would just be a better person and would find a job and my mother woulnt be in pain from working so hard, and my father well would still be around.

Voting Results
9% Normal
Based on 22 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • bfranklin
    4 years ago

    It sounds like you have a serious guilt complex. It's not normal and sounds exhausting. I would suggest finding some help.

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  • Aethylfritha
    4 years ago

    If youre serious you need to re asses your thoughts.
    No one who is abused or beaten( and ive known a few) is glad or happy about it. Being ignored worse than being abused...borg are bad.
    Its like saying " i feel bad that i wasnt molested...wasnt I cute enough? "
    See not cool.

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  • Boojum
    4 years ago

    I have to wonder when you learned about the terrible things that happened to your parents when they were children. Your OP implies that you knew about this before you were even ten years old. Children that young aren't emotionally or intellectually equipped to deal with the harsh reality that there are horrible people in the world who do ghastly things to their children, so I can see how your parents telling you these stories when you were very young would have done a number on your head.

    I fail to see how any reasonable person could justify sharing such stories with a young child, and I have to wonder if there wasn't some degree of emotional manipulation (or even full-blown emotional abuse) involved. I imagine your parents must have been damaged by their childhoods, so I have difficulty condemning them outright, but a good parent would have kept these tales to themselves, perhaps only sharing them with you when you were an adult. Doing so when you were emotionally mature might have allowed you to understand why your parents are the people they are and some of the decisions they made when you were young, but there's no justification for telling you all this when you were little.

    I wonder if the unspoken subtext of these stories was something along the lines of, "Listen to all the terrible things my parents did to me, and be grateful that I'm not doing the same to you, even though you're way worse than I ever was when I was your age."

    I assume from your English usage that you're American, and so your assumption that it's perfectly normal for parents to physically abuse their kids (and employ euphemisms like 'spanking') is understandable. In more civilised parts of the world, parents who hit their kids are looked down on just as much as adults who are so inadequate that the only way they know to settle disagreements is by the use of physical violence. Children who grow up in families where violence is not used to discipline and instruct do not usually end up filled with so much guilt that they self-harm, so the source of your feelings is something other than the fact that you weren't regularly hit by your parents when you were little.

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    • Ellenna
      4 years ago

      As usual, a thoughtful empathetic and intelligent response: I wish I'd written it!

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  • NormalAdventure
    4 years ago

    I call B.S.

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
    4 years ago

    If this isnt trolling I think you should find someone reasonable to talk to about these things. You're looking at things from a delusional way. The feelings you're having arent 'normal'.

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  • cupcake_wants
    4 years ago

    This COULD be a troll, but I don't think that necessarily it is. OP, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt here. I can understand that some people have a sort of guilt like this. It's not right, but I'm sure you know this. It sounds like you may need to talk this out with a psychologist.

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