Is it normal to constantly feel like your coworkers don’t like you?
I keep feeling this at almost every job I’ve been at the past few years. Maybe I didn’t care in the past or I didn’t notice, I don’t know.
What happens is I will start a job. I initially try to like the people or possibly do like them. Then it becomes this thing where I start not liking some of them because of how they treat me (they are rude to me, that seems normal) but also that they actually don’t like me either because they don’t go out of their way to get to know me, show an interest in my life, etc.
It’s really noticeable when it’s a tight crew working together. And what happens, like at my current job - is there is maybe 2-3 people that I do talk to that it feels okay and normal. They talk to me, and vice versa and it’s mostly two way. Then there is everyone else. I work with a bunch of girls in the front of house at a restaurant and it’s just like this complete avoid-me game it seems. They are all cliquey with each other, talk to each other and having fun when I’m over here by myself and I only talk to the guys.
Mind you, I’m gay I have ALWAYS felt comfortable talking to girls and vice versa! I just don’t understand it and it’s frustrating and makes me so unhappy to work alongside people who make me feel left out, ignored and like a nobody. Worse, is when I actually try to show an interest in them, either it doesn’t last or it seems like I’m faking it (like I don’t actually care).
Worse yet is I am starting to think I wear a mask on around these people. I almost snapped at some of the girls last night because I was trying to do something and they wouldn’t show me the respect to move out the way.
When my manager asked what’s wrong I just said nothing.
This isn’t working, this isn’t good for me. I do believe there is a chance it’s just not a good fit and these aren’t my people, despite not minding talking to some of the guys.
I am normally a nice guy who goes out of his way for others. I try to be friendly and show an active interest in peoples lives. But it’s like once I sense they aren’t into me this wall goes up too.
It’s a shame because this isn’t normally how I am at jobs I’ve worked. I normally like talking to everyone, and yea there’s always a few jerks or assholes I have to deal with. But this is making me not enjoy working or dread coming to my job or wanting to quit.