Is it normal to consider dumping my gf for these reasons

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20 Comments

I’m a dude in his early 30’s and my GF is 3 years younger than myself. We have been together for 8 months at this point and we were dating for half a year prior to making it official.

I have my life sorted out and I’m more or less ready to settle down. I own an apartment, a car and I have a stable income. I have gotten into my stride so to say.

My girlfriend who is in her late 20’s is currently about to complete her Master’s degree (which for the record is something that I completed 8 years ago). Don’t get me wrong, I see this as very positive, but I’ll explain the issue more in detail in a moment.

The problem that I have sensed is that she is used to getting spoon fed and she has absolutely no interest in being a grownup. She has absolutely no interest to apply for any jobs after she graduates, neither does she have any interest to take on the normal responsibilities that any other adult has.

She is from a very rich family, but I really don’t care about her legacy or money. I just seek someone who is ready to take responsibilities no matter what their social economical status is.

Last, but not least. I have been having problems with her seeing other men while I am at work. I often see selfies on social media of her and random guys that she meet in clubs and social gatherings.

I have spoken to her about it and I would like to believe her that these guys are only friends. I have however dug up flirtatious text messages between her and the guys she meet (such as hearts being sent back and fourth).

I feel that I am done here and I am preparing to break the news to her. I would however greatly appreciate a sanity check for my reasoning beforehand though, which is why I am consulting you, my friends.

Is it normal to not accept these conditions? What would you had done?

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 18 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • Taka
    3 years ago

    Better part ways and move on. The longer you wait the harder it might be.

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  • Mammal-lover
    3 years ago

    heart emojies don't mean anything. However the rest does. Frankly I can't date someone who has no work ethic. I love working. Keeps me busy. Its important to me 2 I don't date a lazy malaka

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    • bbrown95
      3 years ago

      I'm the same way, I love working and the fact that it keeps me busy. I've never understood why so many people's dream is to just sit at home all day. That would drive me insane.

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      • Mammal-lover
        3 years ago

        Right!? Omg I get bored with 2 days off back to back if my chores are done. Let alone sitting around all the time. One time I had like 4 days off in a row and by the third day I was ready to start banging my head on the walls. Talk about torture!

        Some people are nuts. But that's OK leaves more job opportunities available for me:)

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        • bbrown95
          3 years ago

          Yes! The last time I got really sick and was down for a few days, I started feeling really useless and depressed. I just cannot do nothing all day or just sit around and watch TV!

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        • Tommythecaty
          3 years ago

          Go outside

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          • Mammal-lover
            3 years ago

            And do what? I live in town so I can't do whatever I want. My job is physical labour so I get plenty if exercise. Not to mention I work overnights and when its day the ranges don't open till bedtime so I can hardly stay past an hour at a time and the tickets are pricy.

            not to mention there's kids outside. And if I have to deal with that shit in my free time ill likely snap

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            • Tommythecaty
              3 years ago

              That all sounds poo ☹️

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  • dirtybirdy
    3 years ago

    Time to part ways. It'll never work so why waste any more time

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  • COVID-19
    3 years ago

    People rarely change. Don't try to fix her. Rather find someone who aligns better with your life compass.

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  • litelander8
    3 years ago

    You seem done.

    If you think you may not be, you should present your issues to her and see how she wants to handle it. But she seems like a party girl who isn’t going to want to settle down.

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
    3 years ago

    Idk what you want but assuming you dont want a promiscuous gf that you have to take care of id think about breaking it off. Tell her that you dont feel that she has similar life goals and you cant handle the flirting.

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  • bbrown95
    3 years ago

    As someone who formerly dated someone with no work ethic who pretty much wanted to be taken care of and tried to dodge any responsibilities, that is not going to change. If that's a dealbreaker to you (it was for me, as I have no desire to be someone's babysitter for the rest of my life), I'd run.

    The flirting sounds suspicious and disrespectful as well.

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  • JellyBeanBandit
    3 years ago

    I don't see anything wrong with her taking some time off after spending years studying, before she knuckles down and starts her career. She deserves it.

    It's the second reason that I find more serious. She may just be a naturally flirty person and doesn't even realise she's doing it, she might think you're overly jealous and possessive for thinking anything of it. But yeah, I'd feel the same way honestly.

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  • missywishy
    3 years ago

    Just get rid of her and get yourself a real woman. She sounds immature, she’s behaving like a girl

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  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    I suggest you find out if she really is cheating. If she isn't, then give her a chance. If she is, then dump her.

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  • clitoriajustice
    3 years ago

    so much going on here. firstly, it is normal to get your grad degree in your late 20s. second, if you want to break up with her just do it. it's not about what other people think. you shouldn't subject her or yourself to a relationship you don't wanna be in. if sending hearts to people is a dealbreaker for you then break up with her, regardless of what other people think. if you don't wanna be in the relationship you shouldn't. however if you're looking for advice on whether or not she's unfaithful i would say no. it's normal to have guy friends and post selfies with them and it's normal to send hearts to your friends in a platonic way; i do it all the time. it also sounds like she has pretty normal, reasonable life goals. so if you're asking whether she's doing anything unreasonable i would say no. but it doesn't matter what i think because if you don't wanna be in the relationship then end it; it doesnt matter if your reasons are "good" or not. also, you really shouldnt be looking at her phone. but again, even though what she's doing doesnt sound unfaithful, it doesnt matter. if her sending hearts to other guys makes you want to break up with her, then just break up with her.

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  • Meowypowers
    3 years ago

    The only thing that matters is she is fucking other men. She is rich on daddys dollar and rich on another daddy's dick. Theres nothing for you there og.

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  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    Godspeed!

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  • hauntedbysandwiches
    3 years ago

    If she's cheating, dump her but if she isn't and her personality is great and it's just the lack of direction, so what if it takes a year or two? A lot of people I know took several years off and I envy them as I've never had time off before in my entire life but most people do that now, it's pretty common and I think it's healthy but if she's just immature in general and you feel she's not mature enough and can't see her acting like an adult, you could give her a nudge or two and see how she is.

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