Is it normal to choose safe good feeling over crazy love
Ive had big love and in my experience love doesnt help. You can love someone and have a strong connection with them but it doesnt make it a good relationship.
Now I feel I would like to prioritize safety. Im not head over heels my partner but hes good and we have good times together and in the climate of the today with how things have changed for the worse (my country has gotten overrun with criminal activity it seems and last week a girl my age on my street disappeared and has been found murdered now and shit like that never happens here) I dont feel safe out there especially with men. I dont get the point of gambling russian roulette with my life by going on dates with new men all the time that are strangers to me and could be anyone behind the mask. I count myself lucky that I am alive after this lovebombing psycho I dated 2 years ago who now has a mail order bride which says even more about him to me. He once said to me "you know, speaking of true crime, murderers doesnt do anything wrong really because its just a stupid law that humans created that you cant take anothers life, but what really says that its a bad thing?" I was too stunned to speak and he saw my expression and tried to backpadel but at that point I knew him well enough to realize he was serious and yeah we didnt keep dating obviously... Most my experiences havent been with people who are psychos but theres many questionable personalities once you get to know people.
I have questioned before if ive really been in love or if ive just felt attachment... seeing as I at this point couldnt imagine dumping my partner because I feel good with him even though im not crazy in love. I am quite the oddball and to everyone ive met so far in life ive hidden a lot and made things up to seem less weird such as how much time I spend with my family instead of friends like a normal adult, whereas with my man now I tell him everything without thinking twice and I feel blessed. Is that what love is?