Is it normal to be unable to fall asleep until total exhaustion?
My parents said I was impossible to put to bed since I was a baby. To this day the insomnia has progressed to the point of being unmanageable. It does not matter what time I wake up the morning before. It does not matter what time I need to wake up the next day. Activity level has no effect. Proper sleep hygiene makes things worse; my mind makes more noise when there isn’t at least mundane TV droning in the background. Unmedicated I have been known to stay awake for up to 4 days. I’ve tried every medication for insomnia you could name. A dentist injected me with a cocktail of fentanyl and modafinil as anesthesia and I remained conscious. These days I am barely hanging on. I have begged family and friends for unwanted pharms. At this point I am nearly 24 hours without sleep despite taking a full dose of olanzapine (heavy sedating antipsychotic) and mirtazapine (heavily sedating anxiolytic) and 4 Xanax. This cannot be normal. But I hope someone may have had a similar experience and can share advice. Seen many psychs and docs to no avail. It’s not that I’m not sleepy— I’m so sleepy it hurts— I just cannot allow myself to rest. I know this isn’t normal. But is this at least one other person’s normal?