Is it normal to be exhausted by insincere compliments given to fight off jealousy

When I'm jealous of someone, I normally try and stave off that emotion by over-complimenting them. I try and turn a negative emotion into a positive one. But it reeks of insincerity. I'm sort of exhausted by giving compliments and think I will just try and ignore jealousy instead.

Is It Normal?
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  • Ya that sounds very tiring.

    A more successful similar strategy I've found is to expand my understanding of "self" if I can see myself as the world and everybody rather than just this one body, I can take enjoyment in the achievements of every person. I haven't actually achieved this state but just the intention brings results easier than I expected. So the differentiation is not to focus on the 'greatness' of this person but instead be happy when they succeed and sad when they fail.

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  • By definition, being jealous of someone means that you wish you had what they do. Unless you have been uniquely blessed, there's always going to be someone in the world who is better than you at something or more attractive.

    Constantly comparing yourself to others is a natural stage in growing up and discovering your place in the world, but at some point you have to accept that you are who you are. If you don't, you could end up constantly striving to reach some unrealistic standard of perfection, and trying to be - or look like - someone other than you.

    Your approach so far is understandable and not as negative as some ways of responding when you meet someone you think is better than yourself in some way. However, as you say, over-complimenting is tiring. It's lying, and normal people find lying stressful.

    What's more, you can be pretty sure that only someone who is totally self-obsessed will take your fake compliments at face-value. More sensible people will conclude that you're phony, and they'll stop believing anything you say, or they might come to believe that every compliment you make is actually sarcasm.

    Try to see the positive things about other people, accept them, and pay honest compliments if you want them to feel good about themselves. If they ask your opinion, try to find something positive to say, but don't lie. Otherwise, just keep your mouth shut, accept that they who are they are, and you are who you are.

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    • Thanks so much for your comment

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  • But be glad with what you have. :)

    No need to be jealous.

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  • Instead of focusing on jealousy, try to think about another topic or do something to get your mind off of it (ex. if you're jealous of person A at a party, go talk to person B). That's the only thing that works for me.

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  • I agree it's very exhausting, though I don't do that I definitely have before. I think you should take your own advice and just try to avoid getting so jealous more

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