Is it normal to be depressed because i can't afford new treatments that may help me?
I keep seeing news about these advancements and treatments that are being discovered which may help with many of the health issues that cause me to be disabled. I get excited when I see them, who wouldn't be excited to find out that there may be some new advancement that could give them back something that their health took from them? But then the sad truth hits me. I am disabled because of these ailments that I can't afford to treat because of being on a fixed income. I can't afford the basic, lowest tier treatments for my health, and medicare loves to play games to get out of paying for stuff. So, even though those new treatments could stop me from wanting to die every day due to my health issues and the pain that comes with them, those treatments will remain out of my reach because those conditions are debilitating.
I can't afford the treatments for my conditions because I have those conditions and they render me completely disabled, and those new treatments, they're not cheap. So I end up depressed because, here I am, looking at the potential solution, right there, something that could possibly help, only to be told I don't deserve it because I can't shell out enough money because my conditions keep me too sick to work in order to earn the amount of money needed. It's a catch 22. The people who need those treatments most normally can't afford them because living off of disability keeps us below the poverty line. And the only way to get off of disability (depending the disability of course) is to treat our conditions, which we can't afford to do.
Looking at it just makes my depression more horrid than it normally is. It's not enough that I'm sick, I also have to just watch as the advancements that could potentially help me get out of this bottomless health pit dangle there beyond my reach, like a starving dog watching a juicy steak be dangled right beyond where their chain reaches.
Is it normal to see those things and end up feeling this depressed, angry, and desperate because of it? Are these feelings justified or is it just that living so long like this is starting to get to me?