Ask Your Question today
It OK to ask someone if you are ugly, even if you really are? If their answer is "no, you're not ugly", that probably doesn't mean they are being honest, does it? If they don't answer, or you aren't sure if they answer honestly or not, how can you really find out if people think you are ugly or not?
I think that's awkward and uncomfortable for people to answer. Even if they're honest people they probably won't want to hurt your feelings if they think you're ugly and tell you that. So they will feel like they have to lie and tell you you're not.
Haven't you ever heard that statement beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Just because one person thinks that you're ugly doesn't mean that the next person is going to think that you're ugly
Every people every person on this Earth has a different preference of what ugly and what beautiful is! As well as our preferences change over time to I've noticed as I've gotten older and I've lived in experience different things in life.
So I believe that Honesty would be based on who you're talking to or asking at the time and what their preferences are on beauty on morals if they believe in lying or not.
But no matter what someone out there is going to find that you're the most beautiful person in the world!
My honest opinion is the true beauty comes from within because outer beauty Fades over time anyhow!
I like your response, it's very understanding and open minded. Unfortunately, I see alot of shallow people who do not look at beauty on the inside being what they're into. They are shallow, they immediately judge people on looks, and some of them are proud to admit it
If someone says you are not ugly, can they still really think you are and not tell you? They wouldn't hate you, they'd just think you're ugly, but they might not tell you the truth if you ask them, would they?
It's funny even if you ask someone who hates you they won't necessarily be honest either because they will do the opposite and over exaggerate your negative qualities. Best way is to ask online although you will also get some of the above type answers from trolls. Also funny, how strangers irl are nice as possible, but strangers online tend to be mean as possible.
You can tell if the person is lying. If you ask what she thinks of your looks and the question seems awkward/embarrassing then you know the answer is negative. If she is blushing/fluttering then the answer is positive.
I get the first one when I've asked, the uncomfortable awkward response, I see other signs too that they're finding me ugly, like getting inferior treatment as a customer in stores compared to other customers. I've read all about lookism being a real thing, so this is not a confidence thing. Lookism is real. I guess the reason why I have the urge to still question these people is for the same reasons black people still stood up to white people mistreating them. They already had a good idea for the reason of their mistreatment, but they still need to ask about it, to stand up
I wouldn’t even bother asking. It’s considered rude to call someone ugly so nobody will say yes unless they don’t like you. Then they will say yes based on what they think of your personality.
I guess I'm a different person from you because I never have asked someone if they thought I was ugly. I have been asked that question by other people though. The people that asked me that question were not ugly so I told them that they were not. But it was awkward to me so I acted awkwardly. I would be really uncomfortable if an unattractive person asked me that question and I would probably lie to not hurt their feelings.
I just think arrogance is unattractive. Some less good looking people have a way about them that makes them infinitely more attractive. Ultimately, "ugly" or pretty, people I think eventually wind up with someone of similar beauty. It's about learning to be happy with what you have.
If you could reply with a link to a pic of you I would tell you. Not trolling here just kinda curious to see if you actually are or if you're over thinking it
Even if I actually am, I have to learn to deal with it now because I can't change the way I look. I've been really upset about it which is why I started this page, but after getting lots of feedback on this Web page today, I have now realized I have to cope with it and love myself whether people around me think I'm ugly or not. I don't really have any other choice.
Are you aware that alot has to do with the way you carry yourself. A person who slouches and won't make much direct eye contact will be treated less favorably than the identical person who projects a more confident outward appearance.
So much of what we perceive as a person's appearance is something that starts from within and radiates outward.
I think you're right, alot of it is that I've been sending out uneasy vibes and making people uncomfortable because I have been worrying about it way too much. I think I haven't always made eye contact, but I think some of the time, I've been making too much eye contact cause I keep watching them to see how they'll treat me. But, I'm starting to feel better now about this whole thing and I am not gonna worry about it so much now as I did when I was first posting all of this. This may've been what I needed to get me out of this. If I hadn't posted this question and started seeing these different responses, I would've still been worrying about it.
People who ask this will look insecure so it's probably not wise. I would react to it as if you were fishing for compliments and get annoyed and like you a little less. But that's me. I'm cranky I suppose.
I don't think it's just you, alot of people are probably getting further annoyed by being asked. But lookism is real, I've read all about it. I know people are treating me inferior cause of my looks and it's not strictly an insecurity thing. They've done studies, it's been on 20/20 that people do vary on how they treat others according to looks. I just feel the need to ask for the same reason anybody has wanted to stand up for mistreatment due to something they can't help, lookism is discrimination too. But I guess that there's a chance that if I ask them and they say I'm not ugly, they might not be being honest, I don't know. How can I get people to notice my good qualities and not judge me on my looks?
"How can I get people to notice my good qualities and not judge me on my looks?"
Start by cooling it with the lookism stuff. In fact never, ever utter that word again.
Second if you want to stop people judging you on your looks stop fucking asking them too.
You're probably right. I need to cool it with this whole issue altogether. It's starting to look like tripping about people thinking I'm ugly is definitely not gonna make me look less ugly. I'm kinda glad I got a response like that, I guess it's what I needed to snap me out of all this. I've known other people who really don't give a shit if other people think they're ugly or not, I guess there's no reason why I can't become one of them now.
You can try to look your best and feel good about yourself without all the other stuff. You don't need to completely stop giving a shit and let yourself go to hell.
Just relax on the asking and buzz word crap. Of course people like attractive people. Thats never going to change.
I won't stop giving a shit altogether, I'll just stop tripping about it, and I won't be asking any more strangers at all anymore because they might not be honest anyway and I'll just be making myself look even worse by doing so. I know that there will keep being shallow people out there but there's nothing I can do to change their choice to be shallow, and me asking them questions on the topic won't do me no favors at all. I'm glad I think I am finally starting to get past all that crap now. I'll just get confident now, take care of myself best I can, and not trip about it again.
If you want the truth, you should look for someone honest first. Beauty is a standard, not a fact though so you're mileage will vary. As Drax the Destroyer said, "You are beautiful. . .On the inside. You are entirely hideous outside." Maybe instead of wondering if you're secretly ugly to people, find things that you think are beautiful about yourself?
I know what you're saying, mileage can vary, since what's ugly to one can be less ugly to another. About the honesty, if it's someone I don't know that well, how do I know if they are an honest person? I know that I have some nice things about myself, but it seems like the shallow people, and they are out there, they won't see my good qualities because they are so concerned about judging based on looks, they become blinded by whatever else great qualities I have. And I have some recent experiences to confirm that
Well exactly. In those cases it's not about you. If they're seeing their judgements, it's what they see. To be direct to the original question, I try to tell people what I find attractive AND unflattering when asked. 9/10 they appreciate the honesty, 1/10 they were fishing for a compliment. That's been my score at least. Also I've seen some very pretty people who were extremely ugly the moment they started talking. So. . .I try to look at the whole enchilada.
If you are a guy, women that see you in person will never be honest. I submitted selfies to an on-line dating service once. Women evaluated them in return for me evaluating their pictures. My average score on a scale of 1 to 10 was a 1.5 which put me in the bottom 10%. This is how I know I am ugly.
Brutal honesty is the best policy in the long run. At least I know why I will never have a girlfriend.