Iin2 think suicide for over a decade (no crisis)?

Not really going to hurt myself, but the idea has been for a while. some day in 2009, when i was 17, I came up with the idea that I would kill myself before 35, I actually told people around me but they were like "meh". I do not remember actually doing anything to terminate/hurt myself, but holding this idea itself makes me feel weird.
okay, I still think I'm probably not going to kill myself because 1) what if my good life starts from the very next day? and more importantly 2) what if reincarnation is real and I am actually coming back as a Chinese baby.
so, no crisis for me, although I still hate being Chinese very much.

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Comments ( 8 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Curious how you post, if you are in China.
    I thought the communist had a tight hold on speaking out.
    I love Chinese.
    But I hate communists.
    It just doesnt work.
    Ive known Vietnamese who prefered life in Nam to life in the U.S.
    Because what you think is a land of freedom and opportunities.
    Isnt always what you expected.
    Id love to visit China.
    But I know the reality of living there.
    Isnt something Ive ever imagined.

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  • What About being chinese do you hate?
    Move to Sweden, the second you cross your boarder you are Swedish. (Derp)

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    • -
    • not sure if it is good to be chinese, but it is not good for a chinese to live in china.
      No Freedom, No Justice, Micro Dicks Only.
      Chairman Winnie the Pooh - a pretentious whore.
      Rather have President Trump, one that we can shout at.
      Very little income for most of us, and basically no future.
      Third world country pretending to be first world.
      Pretty City Facade, we're literally swimming in the city every summer but no flood insurance, government won't pay, and there's no shelter we can go when it happens.
      During a typhoon(mini hurricane) no death toll in Hongkong, but at least 10 were killed in our city alone. government love hiding predictable natural catastrophe and call it punishable rumor when someone else does it.
      steal lucrotive private owned company by making them sell their firms involuntarily or... jail time.
      No job for translators because their price was set too low, 5$ and google translator make it basically impossible.
      public housing solutions are set to be at the same price ordinary tenants pay.
      took 18 years and 3billion hkd (almost 400million usd) to build a above-land railway transport system, upto this date, there's only a few columns.
      plaza+ bus station at main entrance of the city is under decoration, and it will take 2 years.
      they decided to build a bridge that connect a few neighboring cities, but don't buy Netherland or western technologies, workers died because of the terrible work condition, and they call it nation pride.
      the town center is now under maintenance, 80% or even more of the transportation system is affected, for at least months.
      streets has to be repaved over and over, and it will worn out within months. and they will open and repave again and make more noises.
      depressing concrete street all over the city.
      overly crowded and noisy noises, windows and exterior tiles of building can fall anytime, crazy people throwing weird stuffs off the window (eg. drawer, stool, television... )

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    • will they accept me?

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  • What's wrong with being chinese?
    Clear skin.
    No odor.
    Firm sensitive parts.
    Above average intelligence.
    Folks assume you can do laundry and like sex. Lol.
    That said, I'd rather die than be old.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    • -
    • not sure if it is good to be chinese, but it is not good for a chinese to live in china.
      No Freedom, No Justice, Micro Dicks Only.
      Chairman Winnie the Pooh - a pretentious whore.
      Rather have President Trump, one that we can shout at.
      Very little income for most of us, and basically no future.
      Third world country pretending to be first world.
      Pretty City Facade, we're literally swimming in the city every summer but no flood insurance, government won't pay, and there's no shelter we can go when it happens.
      During a typhoon(mini hurricane) no death toll in Hongkong, but at least 10 were killed in our city alone. government love hiding predictable natural catastrophe and call it punishable rumor when someone else does it.
      steal lucrotive private owned company by making them sell their firms involuntarily or... jail time.
      No job for translators because their price was set too low, 5$ and google translator make it basically impossible.
      public housing solutions are set to be at the same price ordinary tenants pay.
      took 18 years and 3billion hkd (almost 400million usd) to build a above-land railway transport system, upto this date, there's only a few columns.
      plaza+ bus station at main entrance of the city is under decoration, and it will take 2 years.
      they decided to build a bridge that connect a few neighboring cities, but don't buy Netherland or western technologies, workers died because of the terrible work condition, and they call it nation pride.
      the town center is now under maintenance, 80% or even more of the transportation system is affected, for at least months.
      streets has to be repaved over and over, and it will worn out within months. and they will open and repave again and make more noises.
      depressing concrete street all over the city.
      overly crowded and noisy noises, windows and exterior tiles of building can fall anytime, crazy people throwing weird stuffs off the window (eg. drawer, stool, television... )

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Dont do it

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    • -
    • "rather be a dog in America than a man in China" -rescued Indonesian Chinese after the incident that took place in 1960s

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