Is it normal these things that happen to dead people bother me?

93% Normal

Anyone’s death alone is both a tragic and terrifying thing, but the after math I also find disturbing. Every time I see a skeleton I think how strange it is that most everyone I know will someday look like that. Even some of the most beautiful people you’ve ever seen are all just the same bones underneath (I especially started thinking this way about a girl I had a crush on in high school. It’s hard to explain, but she both acted and looked so innocent, and I felt a strange connection when I looked in her eyes. It scared me to realize that all those features of hers would fade some day). And it’s kinda weird, I’ve seen some of the most horrific gory pictures imaginable online, and although they disturbed me, I can’t say I felt any trauma from them. The only deaths I’ve had to face are my dad (who died when I was a baby so I have no recollection of his death), my dog, and my grandpa, and when my dog died I refused to be there when he was put down, and I refused to look at my grandpa’s body when he died. I personally like methods like cryogenic freezing or whatever it is they did with Vladimir Lenin. I guess I don’t like finality, I’ve been researching ways people could prolong life in the future, but I’m caught between whether I really want to live forever or if there’s really a point where I think it’s time to go. I’m only 19 and I’ve thought about death a lot my short life. I just don’t want it to end unexpectedly, and I have a lot of soul searching to do so I can confirm what I believe about the afterlife or the lack thereof. I just hope I won’t die before I’ve made up my mind.

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93% Normal

Based on 15 votes (14 yes)

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Comments ( 18 )

paramore93

5 years ago

Instead of spending your time researching ways to prolong your life in the future, why not enjoy the life you have now?
I respect whatever choices people make about their deaths but freezing sounds scary. Realistically, if you were frozen you probably wouldn't ever wake back up. If you did, you wouldn't be you. You wouldn't have your friends or family. You'd be an adult baby learning how to walk, talk and feed yourself all over again.

We found my mum dead in bed. I'll never get that image out of my head but the thought of her being frozen in a tank, alone, is 10 000x worse to me. It's fucking scary, cruel and unfair but death is a part of life. Enjoy your life while you can.

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- Hubbard
  
  5 years ago
  
  Thanks, I probably needed that.
  
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  - paramore93
    
    5 years ago
    
    Of course that's just my opinion, you should do whatever makes you happy.
    
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leggs91200

5 years ago

Being 19, you are still at a stage in life where things will likely get better, there are plenty of "firsts" you have yet to experience, you have your whole life ahead of you, and it seems great. The thought of death does seem horrible.

As we age we go through changes and our views of life change. We get to where nothing is exciting anymore. Making friends or dating become much harder, apathy sets in, and we get tired of the bullshit. I am mid 40's and I often think, "Is this all there is to life?" When I was your age, I would make life-changing decisions on a whim, living fast, having fun. Never anything illegal but always crazy stuff.

When you see or hear about old folks still alive yet basically rotting away in nursing homes or their own homes, without any family or friends or hope for anything but death, just remember that they were once energetic 19 year olds with all the hopes and dreams in the world.

About the cryogenic freezing thing, consider this -
EVEN IF they could freeze someone, cure their terminal ailments, then bring them back to life at some point, the life that person left would not be the life they would return to. It is like any situation where someone goes away for a few years or longer. The life you leave (voluntarily or not) is not the life you go back to.

Though I am not there yet myself, I can understand why a lot of older folks are ready to leave this life. When we are young, life seems so full of hope and promise. Slowly but surely though, the world strips all those hopes and dreams and we are left with just trying to get by each day.

If you are not familiar with the Pink Floyd song "Time", go look up the lyrics. It sums up life changes pretty briefly but accurately.

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- Hubbard
  
  5 years ago
  
  Thanks, I will. And I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of my youth lazing away, I feel I’ve had a pretty boring life. Even at a younger age I was extremely careful and determined not to take too many risks.
  
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Ellenna

5 years ago

It's normal to not like the idea of death for yourself or other people or animals you care about, but not normal to be so obsessed with it that you don't enjoy the life you do have.

We're all born to die some day: it might be in the next 10 seconds or it might be in 50 years. The trick is to live a life which leaves the world better than it was when you came into it and not do stuff you'll regret on your death bed if you can possibly avoid it.

I know the main thing I regret is smoking for decades, which will definitely result in me dying sooner than I otherwise would have and almost certainly not seeing my youngest grandchild grow up, let alone seeing great grandchildren.

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- leggs91200
  
  5 years ago
  
  My step dad smoked from the time he was 14 until he was 46; so 32 years. He almost died from it. Well, last march he turned 80.
  
  I do not know your age but you may be still kicking decades from now, even if you think yourself to be "old".
  I am an ex smoker myself and I have this loose belief that if we quit smoking while we are ahead, we will not likely die much sooner than if we had never smoked.
  
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  - Ellenna
    
    5 years ago
    
    I smoked from age 16 to age 63 and was diagnosed with emphysema a year or so after I'd quit. I had no health problems from smoking over all those years and kidded myself that I'd stop when it was affecting my health: well of course it already was affecting my future (now present) health by eating non-repairable holes in my lungs.
    
    Good on you for quitting and glad your step-dad is ok at 80 and it's not only about dying earlier than I otherwise would have, it's because COPD/emphysema involves a slow process of deterioration and if something else doesn't get you first it's an extremely nasty way to die. I hate it that my energy levels can plummet amazingly quickly just when I have something I want to do all planned out and have to abandon everything except sitting in a chair resting. Sometimes it feels like a fulltime job keeping my lungs away from pollutants, and I live in fairly clean air in the mountains.
    
    Nice thought on my life expectancy, but I don't see how I could be alive "decades from now" when I'm already 72!
    
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    - Hubbard
      
      5 years ago
      
      If you live to over 100 you could still be alive decades later. Not many decades granted, but some.
      
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      - Ellenna
        
        5 years ago
        
        Well if I last that long I'll come back to IIN and let you know, but I really don't believe that's going to happen
        
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    - leggs91200
      
      5 years ago
      
      Of course I have no clue how long anyone is going to be around.
      
      I would think that at 70 something, it would be pretty normal for one to not have a lot of energy whether they ever smoked or not.
      
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      - Ellenna
        
        5 years ago
        
        Partially true, but emphysema is known to cause sudden and unexpected drops in energy and is sometimes called the "tired disease."
        
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RoseIsabella

5 years ago

When my maternal grandfather died it was open casket. It was very sad, and I miss him a lot, but I wasn't grossed out. I went to my uncle's house, and prayed with my family, and my grandfather's body even before the coroner shower up to take his body. I, and many of my relatives even kissed my grandfather goodbye at the wake. I don't think it's weird, or gross. I was even a pallbearer at his funeral which isn't a typical thing for a female to do, but my father wanted me to do it, and I was glad to do so.

My cat's older brother from an earlier litter died of FIP at the tender age of six months old, and the moment he died I wrapped him in the most expensive silk I owned, and I held him in my arms non-stop until my family drove us to the pet cemetery, and I handed off his little, precious body to be cremated. I've kept the Christian Dior silk nightgown I wrapped him in to this day, I will never wash it, and I will never wear it again... and yes, I kissed him goodbye.

My own sister told me to stop holding him, because he was dead, but she, and people who think like her can just fuck right off, because this is how I say goodbye.

You're free to have whatever beliefs you want about death, but the whole freezing dead people thing will never be feasible for the masses. Just remember the next time someone passes that we all grieve differently. It's okay for you to be grossed out as long as you don't make a big deal about it to the other mourners who aren't.

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[Old Memory]

5 years ago

The thought of death and the reality of it freak me out sometimes. The fact of never seeing that person again and knowing we’re only here for a temporary time I feel it’s one of those thing that don’t cross my mind much so when I think about it or hear of someone ik who passed it’s just this shock.

I don’t like the thought of seeing a body and every funeral I get this weird feeling if I accidentally look because I don’t want to see it. I did see my grandfather pass it wasn’t traumatizing but definitely not something that was easy I was like 12 and we weren’t very close but I knew he was passing and visited him daily. This may sound weird compaired to what I just said but I don’t think I can ever be in a room seeing my dog pass it would just break me and luckily my last dog it happen when I was away. I’d like to think I got a whole future ahead of me but I guess you never really know.

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- charli.m
  
  5 years ago
  
  I've alwys been creeped out by dead things. Never been able to deal with a pet corpse (mice and birds), couldn't bear to touch my boyfriend's dog after she drowned, never had to view the body of anyone close to me.
  
  I had to put my dog down late June. I was terrified but I couldn't bear the thought of her being alone and no one else in our family would have been able to hold her, plus she tolerated me best. Maybe even liked me some.
  
  The vet came to us. She was so scared cos she hated him, but too sick to try to run. I had no idea how I would cope with the potential of The Body.
  
  I had one fucking job - help her. And I fucked that up and sobbed all the way through. After, I held her a good long while. Never thought I'd be able to do that, but she was my baby.
  
  Now we've got tension in our family about what will happen when my grandma passes. I'm hoping it's a good way off, because I don't know how I'll cope, emotionally. As for the physical...one aunt wants the body left until she can make her way up (she lives 10hrs away) and my mother is freaked out about it. Idk what I think. I dont think any of us know how we'll deal until we have to.
  
  Now I'm still crying about that damn pupplebutt haha.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    5 years ago
    
    I could never deal with it too. I love animals so much so something like that is really difficult beyond death being difficult to begin with. You were around for her which is better than her being alone. But like your situation I’ll probably be the same. My dogs 13 we got her when I was 7 grew up together she is my dog. I even taught her to play basketball and hit the ball up, we did just about everything together. Her going will be hard and although she still acts like a puppy you can see her back legs occasionally give out and ik her times coming in not to long.
    
    The hardest passing I’ve had to deal with was my grandmother because we were close. My mom, aunt and I were the ones to usually help her with things so they both were in the room as she went and I’m glad I wasn’t because I don’t think I could of been able to handle it. They knew what to do and how to handle the situation plus had a hospice nurse at the house and although we knew she was passing it happen sooner than expected. I’m still kind of a wreck thinking about it but handling it better than I thought I would. It only happen a few months ago.
    
    I had family coming from Ohio and West Virginia some by car and by plane which was a 14 hr car ride. But them already knowing it was her last days they were already on the way I think. So although I didn’t stop by because it was to hard for me the family that were at the house were able to wait for the rest. But I couldn’t see the body at the funeral it just was to much and was right in the front of everything so I kept accidentally looking and it wasn’t easy to see. It did go easier and more peaceful than I imagined so I hope your situation does too.
    
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    - charli.m
      
      5 years ago
      
      Thanks. I'm glad it was peaceful. That's really all any of us can hope for, I guess.
      
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Hubbard

5 years ago

Upon learning some faults that may occur, I think my wish of what to do with my body is this (goes out to whatever family or friends I have left by then):

If there’s any way a body can be preserved or brought back at the time of my death, try your best to hook me up to it. If not possible, then either persevere me Vladimir Lenin style or just bury me the normal way (and because I’m a monster fan, if you want you can even mummify me ancient Egyptian style. I’m weird I know). I’ll just be on record saying I’m personally not a fan of cremation.

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal these things that happen to dead people bother me?