Ask Your Question today
Parents are constantly arguing/yelling, my mom hates my brothers gf, my dad and his bothers dislike my aunt (their sister), my maternal grandmother hates my grandaunt/uncle (her brother and sister in law), my maternal uncle in-law hates his sister. LOL a lot of shade gets thrown around.
I dont want this to seem like my go-to response for all familial issues but I'd recommend learning to play the banjo, running away, picking up a heavy drinking habit, and spending the next few years as a crusty folk punk kid.
There are a lot of dysfunctional families in the world, it might not be normal, but it certainly is quite common. This stuff gets even worse if there is any history of substance abuse in the family.
A lot of people don't know how to deal with their emotions and the inevitable conflicts with others in a healthy way. And it's unfortunately the case that a lot of families are composed of people who come to detest each other the longer they know each other. Stupid little arguments aren't resolved in a way that both parties can accept, so bad feelings and ill-will accumulates. People feeling trapped and unable to escape for practical reasons leads to bitterness. People abusing their economic or physical power leads to resentment. And, as Rose says, if there's substance abuse going on, then things can get totally cray and even very violent.
And then there are just some people who are naturally nasty, selfish and highly opinionated, and others who feel that a day without the excitement of at least five shouting matches is a day of their life that has been wasted.
Even if a family member doesn't want to get involved, it can be extremely difficult not to get drawn into this crap. Everyone wants to believe they're right, and so that often means they're constantly pressuring other family members to join their side.
About all I can suggest is that you do your best to steer clear of the drama as much as you can, and try to maintain an objective view of what's going on and why people are doing and saying the things they are.
Everyone's family is screwed up in one way or another, and it seems to me that often the best we can do is try to learn how we _don't_ want to behave when it comes time for us to make our own family unit. It's way too easy for us to fall into the trap of behaving in the same way as the parent of our own sex behaved when we were growing up, and to subconsciously look for a partner who will fill the role we saw our other parent enacting. That's not a bad thing if we grew up in a healthy, loving family environment, but it's a terrible thing if we grew up in a seriously dysfunctional family.
Family drama is almost ubiquitous but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to deal with, especially when it’s in your own home. I’m not great at advice when it comes to dealing with this stuff so I’ll just advise go on lots of walks and try to zone out of it as much as possible.
My friend also has a difficult immediate family and we made bingo cards together last year for stupid melodramatic stuff our relatives say in arguments- maybe make a mental one for your family if you can learn to laugh at the drama?