Is it normal that i tend to please whoever is in front of me?

Here's something that happened today: my mom asked me if I would have liked to go see a Greek play with my aunt. She was looking at me like she was trying to make fun of me. I initially wanted to say yes, because I've never seen a Greek play before, but my mother's attitude made me hesitate. When she saw that I wasn't answering she said that she didn't think that would be to exciting, so I quickly said that I didn't know this specific play an that I would do some research. After a minute I told her that the author of it was boring (that's a lie, I still have to study both the play and the author at school). So she told my aunt that I said it was boring and didn't want to go. I did this because I didn't want my mother to think I was being weird and because I thought that my aunt invited me there just to make me have fun, even if she found it boring.
Then my aunt called me and told me that she wanted to go because she has never seen a Greek play before and though that could be interesting and she asked me to tag along because neither her husband or her five years old kid (rightfully so) didn't want to go. I felt like shit, I told her I wanted to go too and that I said no in the beginning just because I thought she was doing it just for me.
My mother heard that conversation. She asked me why I changed my answer, why I said I wanted to go if I said it was boring first and that it would be just a waste of money. She then told me I do weir stuff. Is it normal that I did all of this hussle just because I didn't want to show my mom I liked something she doesn't?
I find it funny that the whole point of my behaviour was to show my mother I'm normal and that I think like her, but in the end I still managed to be called weird.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 6 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • It's not normal but it's not a bad thing unless and until it starts heavily interfering with your life. You sound like a people pleaser, and there are much worse of things to be

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  • This whole mess makes me sad, because it feels like you have a lot of shame, and low self-esteem.

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  • As someone who used to be way too much of a people pleaser who cared way too much about what others thought of me, you'll definitely want to break yourself of this. You will get taken advantage of and walked on if you don't, and will attract controlling and using personalities who like the fact that you'll just do whatever pleases them. You'll also miss out on a lot of what you want trying to please or fit in with others. Life is too short, so make your own decisions based on what is best for you! There will always be people who disapprove of you or can't relate to you, no matter what you do. If someone thinks you're weird for trying something new that is completely harmless, that is their problem.

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  • Or here's a though stop worrying about what others think and just do what makes you happy

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    • You need to realize sometimes people literally aren't able to just "stop worrying". People used to give that advice to me all the time and it was literally impossible. It made me hate myself because I'd unwillingly latch onto the stupidest things and they made me miserable but I couldn't push them out of my mind. I later learned I have OCD and intrusive thoughts entering my mind and staying there is something that's physiologically out of my control. Receiving advice to simply "stop" doing X, Y, or Z made my life hell for a lot of years

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    • I should probably do that, but it seems harder when in front of me there's someone close, especially a family member

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