Is it normal that i really want to be with an older man?

69% Normal

By older I mean 30 to 65. I'm an 18 year old girl who has never kissed anyone before or been in a romantic relationship. I've never been on a date. I've been asked out a lot, but I always turn them down. I come from a upper class family and have been in private school my whole life. My dad and I are close, so I have no daddy issues. I just find older men really sexy.

Voting Results

69% Normal

Based on 49 votes (34 yes)

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Comments ( 51 )

edwininthematrix

6 years ago

I'm a 35 year old dentist and dating one of my patients who is a 19 year old girl and in college. She is also a model and aspiring actress. I really love and respect her a lot, and she is always asking me for advice and money, of course. Lol. I would say that I am mature but not boring. I'm interested in many different things like health and fitness, meditation, skiing, tennis, golf, and hiking. I even have invested in the stock market. Now despite all of that for some reason I still don't see myself as a genuine adult yet, and I don't know when that point in my life will come, if ever. But just to be sure I am getting ready to lease a convertible sports car if and when I encounter the first signs of a coming midlife crisis. To be honest her parents don't know that she is dating her dentist and we have promised each other to keep it secret for as long as possible. The world is simply too judgmental and both of us are one hundred percent minimal BS people and we definitely don't need everyone else telling us what we should or shouldn't be doing.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  That's great! I wish you two the best of luck <3
  
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Justmehere

6 years ago

That's your choice..I talk to, befriend, and sometimes have sex with the young, hot servers and hostesses at the sports bar I go to, many of whom say they like or prefer much older guys. I have one now, she's 20 or 21, extremely cute and sexy, who made the first move on me. Chatting with her one night, and, once out of view of the manager, said "So, if you want to take me someplace sometime, you can".

I agreed, and mentioned going to the city one weekend, to her suggestion of "I'd go with you, we'd have fun". And she's a good amount younger than me. I love it.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  Do you talk? Or is it just sex?
  
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  - Justmehere
    
    6 years ago
    
    We talk, too. Just last night, we were having a great conversation about where she used to live, my business, and some of the crazy things we've seen. I had her laughing. She has a beautiful, bright smile that's very warm and disarming.
    
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    - wigz
      
      6 years ago
      
      I used to be one of these girls. She probably has no real interest in you, just what you can give her. I was a bartender and a dancer, I 'went to the city' with guys I met at work...and the whole time, I was just looking for other opportunities to meet other guys I was actually attracted to (or I had a boyfriend already) and just letting the dumb clod buy me stuff and take me places. Sometimes we'd get physical just because you have to to keep up the charade. I don't know of a single girl I used to work with that did not do the same thing if they engaged outside of work with customers...the only ones who didn't do this were the ones who never even so much as talked to customers outside of work. The odds of going from a customer to a real part of her life is practically zero. You're pretty much 100% getting played.
      
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      - Justmehere
        
        6 years ago
        
        I don't doubt there are some girls like that, and, to be honest..I see it as equal taking. We both get something out of it. The guy gets to spend time with a younger, hot woman, a little physical action, and it's all good. In my case, I have maintained contact with most and remain friends long after. Takes time, yes, but it's good to have a personal friendship outside of that environment and connect as people.
        
        Only difference between what you said and I do is, I don't go after or date the ones with boyfriends or significant others. As for spending money on them, I'm careful with that, and, really..Lot of them aren't that high maintenance and require constant spending, gifts, etc. Call it what you want, but like I said..We both get something out of it. And, to be honest..These girls are a dime a dozen. Lose one, and there's 20 behind her.
        
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      That's cute. Best of luck to you <3
      
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IWannaBeLittle

6 years ago

I've had so many crushes on older men! I'm 16 and I always wonder about marrying my bro's ophthalmologist who's 27 or so.

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CDmale4fem

6 years ago

IMHO-ITS your life, don't listen to the haters. Your man and you both are adults and can live your life. I have heard more criticism myself over the years from different people that have found out somehow, or I trusted them enough to tell them about me being a cross dresser. (Since age 13) in my 50's now. People will no matter what try and make judgmental comments about things they don't know or know nothing about. Besides some people seem to thrive on drama and their way is to talk about others behind their back. Hang in there, do what you want to do till you are ready to move on.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  Thanks for the support.
  
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Plassma

6 years ago

Perfectly normal most women want an older man.

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- mrblueeyes75
  
  4 years ago
  
  And men when are boys early to mid teens want to have a experience with a older woman And when a boy is a man hitting the over the hill mark desires younger women as well usually not 30 or 40 years younger say a 50 year old are trying to attract 27 to 35 cause there trying to recapture there younger years... Now personally myself I like them younger or older 18 to 108 normal, blind, crippled or crazy
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  Everyone is saying it's not though
  
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  - Boojum
    
    6 years ago
    
    Young men don't like the idea of young women going for older guys because, if that was the social norm, there'd be a lot of young guys without any chance of getting a woman.
    
    Older women don't like the idea of young women going for older guys because they know that, for many men, youth trumps life-experience, so that makes it more difficult for them to find a guy their age.
    
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    - wigz
      
      6 years ago
      
      Oh for fucks sake, nobody is thinking about it that much. People of all ages are just taking what they can get and busy worrying about their own life.
      
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      People wouldn't be that selfish .
      
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wolfoftheclock2470

6 years ago

You should stick to people in that are your age! Im only 16 but I still recommend it.
Love Y'all,
Wolfoftheclock

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- Boojum
  
  6 years ago
  
  Absolutely. The clueless with the clueless. Perfect match.
  
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  - wolfoftheclock2470
    
    6 years ago
    
    yep
    
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  Thanks for the advice
  
  ~ Love ya 2 <3
  
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pendletonGibbs

6 years ago

A lot of terrible advice on here from bitter, old women... they are only interested in removing you as potential competition.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I don't think people would be that selfish.
  
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mrblueeyes75

4 years ago

actually every man on here that replied is interested

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Nutmegf

6 years ago

older men are better in bed and more mature.

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Puppetmorty

6 years ago

It's not normal as in common, but it's ok. You're an adult.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  Would an older guy even be interested?
  
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NinjaKitten

6 years ago

i mean.. i had a short term fetish. when i wanted to be with an older experienced man. who would know how to smooothly wipe ya off ur feet and take u to a world of bliss :D im a virgin... they are only dreams ;-; i cry... i think it doesn't matter how old u want ur partner to be. just find a guy you love. wether he is 18 or 80 who careees, your excuse, its love. :D
also i think older experienced guys would be less picky about looks.. might be wrong.. thats how i feel.. my bf is only 2 years older dan me. no biggie :) if this relationship dies. i might have to consider an older guy. for the reasons i stated. i love guys in general. as long as their smart :D and possibly look a lil cute :3 wait what was the question again.. uh yeah go for dat sugar daddy XDD lol never though id say that to anyone. just dont get ur self hurt. emotionally or physically :)

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  You're cute. Thanks for being so kind <3
  
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  - NinjaKitten
    
    6 years ago
    
    no problem :o i wish you all of the luck in the world and i hope you'll find a man that you'll love <3
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      I know you will find the man of your dreams <3
      
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LuxM4G

6 years ago

Well, it's your own choice, but trust me when i say that it won't last long, it will be a "fling" as you may very well call it. Do you have fantasies about your professors or your dad's friends?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  Nope. Although my professor has flirted with me and hinted at going out
  
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  - LuxM4G
    
    6 years ago
    
    Why don't you try to take a gander at this movie from Ingmar Bergman, Smiles of a Summer Night from 1955. It will be an enlightening experience, besides its a great picture.
    
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0048641/
    
    You can get a high definition copy(720p/ 1080p) at piratebay, use GOM Player to view media, the subtitles are already included i think.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      Ok I will do. Thanks for suggesting it!
      
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myfreakinopinion

6 years ago

Yes for financial security.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  Lol my dad owns his own very successful business and It's mine once he retires. I come from old money. I don't need financial security. I know why you would think that though.
  
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snoopmoth

6 years ago

It's not uncommon, but it is definitely not something you should engage in. If you can't find yourself attracted to people your age or if you actively seek out relationships with older men then you should talk to a therapist.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I don't really want a future with an older guy. Just a fling.
  
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  - snoopmoth
    
    6 years ago
    
    You shouldn't do that either. If a 30+ year old man wants to be with someone who is 18, they are predatory. It might not seem like it now, but if you ask most people that age, they would cringe at the thought of being with someone that young. Imagine your dad having a fling with one of your friends! They are bad people. I have loved ones who have been taken advantage of like that, and they are still recovering.
    
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    - BlackCatsAreAwesome
      
      6 years ago
      
      Who are you to police other people's relationships?
      
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      I still don't get how its bad
      
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      - snoopmoth
        
        6 years ago
        
        Think about it in these ways maybe: a 30 year old person has had 12 years more of life experience than you. You can argue that age is relative, but generally to a 30 year old you are still a child. When you date someone you need to be at the approximately same level of emotional and mental maturity, otherwise, there is an inequality of power. They are physically and emotionally more developed. A common scenario is a young woman is intimidated by an older man and is more likely to fall for his manipulation because he is older, and wiser. It can quickly become a very scary mess. Honestly, just think about yourself dating someone 12 years younger than you. That's 6 years old! You grow a lot in 12 years. (Less as you get older of course, but still lots!) At the core of this is just that healthy older people don't want to date much younger people. If a 30 year old is interested in you, they are not someone you should be interacting with at all. It's hard to fully understand until you are older. But I suggest you ask the opinion of people you trust who are 30+. Trust their judgement, I promise they have perspective that you do not.
        
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        radar
        
        6 years ago
        
        Agreed. I feel like a hypocrite saying this because not too long ago I had a huge crush on a much older man, and I totally get the appeal. But I'm glad I didn't act on it because I was too addicted to my feelings to look at the situation critically.
        
        Even as a 26 year old I would feel like a pedophile dating an 18 year old. There's nothing wrong with you (OP) wanting to date a man that much older, but there would be something wrong with him wanting to date you. And even as eternally optimistic about human nature as I am, I would find it hard to believe that you'd be much more than a young body to him. Unless he was really dysfunctional either mentally, emotionally, or both - in which case yeah, not the best person to be dating.
        
        Which is not at all to say that you're unintelligent, immature for your age, or anything bad about you - you just are the age you are, and the older you get the more you realize how crazy young that is and just how much a person changes in even a few short years. The most precocious 18 year old is still an infant in the world of adulthood.
        
        Btw I like your name, snoopmoth :P
        
        Take care of yourself, OP.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        6 years ago
        
        You make sense.
        
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i really want to be with an older man?