Is it normal that i'm checking out of dating

I'm a 33 year old woman. Never married. Childless. Single.

I've never cheated on a man, and I've never done Onlyfans. I have a half decent job, so I can look after myself and be self-sufficient. That said, so many men don't seem to want a loyal woman like me to be their partner for life. They either spend their time flitting from woman to woman, or they plan to emigrate to the Phillippines or some shit.

I don't understand why, and it's got to me. So I refuse to date anyone anymore. I'm just destined to be lonely for the rest of my life and I can no longer be assed. Like, what am I supposed to do? What's the point anymore?

Is It Normal?
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  • Guys have started jumping from one branch (woman) to another only because the law (in USA and other countries) in general has made marriage into a financial suicide mission for men.

    Tell me, why would any guy want to risk half of his stuff for a middle aged woman? Im not saying that its justified, Im sure you must a genuine and loving person. Problem is the law has given men a shit deal when it comes to marriage.

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    • Just arrange a prenup if your stuff matters that much to you. The issue OP has is she can't even get to the point of establishing a relationship with a man. You can't think about marriage until you are in a stable relationship. OP even has no luck dating. That is nowhere near considering prenups and marital arrangements.

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  • Your standards are probably too high. Theres no way you cant find a man as a woman. Its much easier for you than a man.

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  • There's probably many men that would take you up on an offer but you HAVE to be willing to lower your standards AND you have to take initiative. Time has clicked on, you're 33, your options are far fewer and getting the ideal man you could have had in your younger days is far less likely to be the man you get.

    You mention that men are going woman to woman but chances are that's because you're only considering the men that have the superficial traits that make such an option available to them. If women universally have high standards then only a few men are going to meet those standards and those men are going to have a catalogue of women to choose from, so the chances of them picking you is extremely slim if women are throwing themselves at such men, and at 33 your chances of winning that battle is even slimmer.

    Here is the kicker though. You STILL have the ability to find a man at 33 and if you don't seem to be able to then chances are there's something you're doing wrong, you're either closing yourself off too much, not giving those on your "level", or under, a shot, or you've let yourself go too much in terms of weight and appearance.

    You're 33. You can still find someone at that age, but if you decide to stop looking now then you are absolutely dooming yourself to being alone, as you're hitting the ages where this becomes far more difficult for women.

    Genuinely, good luck. If you put the work in and take some of this advice you can still find love. <3

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    • Yup. I'm doomed to being alone. And I'm not OK with that but I'll make it work.

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      • You're not doomed to being alone, you just need to make appropriate changes to your approach.

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  • If it's important to you than you shouldn't give up. I haven't had very healthy relationships myself and just found out that my ex husband is in prison for molesting a 10 year old girl so I guess I don't even trust myself and my judgement in character. If you don't want kids then you have your entire life to find the right guy. You can always adopt and be a single parent if you do want kids, but don't want to date.
    Maybe you can use this break of dating to find a passion that really makes you happy and fulfilled. And maybe you might just meet a really special guy that way. And don't worry about "being too picky" or "running out of time". It doesn't matter what the majority of men want or are looking for. You only need that ONE special man out of almost 8 billion people on this earth. Do you, but don't give up! Good luck to you! And be proud of yourself for being a strong independent woman! Many women settle and then end in divorce later because they're all in a race to find love at a certain age. It's really silly. You're too intelligent for that.

    Cheers

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  • If dating makes you unhappy, then don't date. But when a man asks you out, always say yes. Meet people. Even if you are unsure. A great man can come in a simple package. Don't judge a book by its cover. Unless he very seriously reeks of booze. Then you can avoid him. But do keep a social life. Maybe you can settle down with one of your male friends?

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  • We're sort of in the same boat. I understand what you're saying about how men don't want a loyal woman like you or they go to another country for someone, but there's plenty of men who aren't like that too. Those types of men aren't ready to settle down, but it sounds like you are. You need to know what you want in a man before jumping into the dating pool.

    I gave up before I hit 30 because 1 guy I dated was abusive and hated that I wasn't working a full time job while I was in college (I had internships but he required more and demanded that I shouldn't be living with my parents).. and the other guy I dated hated that I worked full time, so total opposite situations and both hated me for completely normal things. Those men were immature and honestly probably felt threatened by me because I was comfortable with my life and how I was living it. I didn't bend to their liking.

    We both don't know how to find the man we want. You want someone who will settle down (it sounds like) so my suggestion is to figure out where to find men like that. Apparently you haven't been looking in the right places. If you're religious, perhaps church groups could be a place? I think some churches actually have singles-events to meet people. But I'm sorry I can't give more suggestions, perhaps though it's a good starting point for you to research more.

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  • Same though i'm not in my 30s yet but yeah. I've considered finding an older man though, they might be ready to settle down and too tired to cheat. Who knows. I've also considered honestly just marrying a guy with money or the next handsome dude I can find even if he has a trash personality if he could still be a good father at least and a fun company. I see men as all mostly the same perverted species that can't keep it in their pants, so might as well pick someone who has something to offer and not care so much emotionally about him lol. Maybe they had it right in the old days when marriage wasn't about love, or I am just starting to get too pessimistic and giving up on love.
    I'm bi though so hopefully I end up coming across a woman to settle down with instead, it's just much harder to find.

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    • That's all well and good wanting a man with at least something to offer, but if such a man comes into your life, what can you offer that man in return besides yourself?

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  • For every onlyfans female hoe, is an equally degrading male whore.

    That being said, it probably comes down to your personality and or appearances.

    You dont have to have an onlyfans to have a shitty woke personality (not that you do)

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  • You're still young. The hard truth is women are on a stricter biological clock than men. Don't waste your 30s not even trying.

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  • No single man in his 30’s is both sober and sane, they might balance out in their 40’s. Maybe.
    You’re in the spot where single people are too depressed to try, so nobody gets a chance to meet eachother. Checking out only adds to this.

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