Is it normal my indian boyfriend broke up with me because of his parents?

58% Normal
11 Comments

I was dating a man from India for about 9 months. He came to the US to go to school and ended up getting a job and staying here working as an engineer. We met via an online dating site and we got along really well. Over time, he eventually told me he loved me and I did too.

Several months ago, he finally told his parents who live back home in India about me. He thought they’d be happy but they weren’t. They were angry and told him to end things. They wouldn’t accept that I’m not Indian. The first time they had this conversation, he became angry and told me about it but we stayed together. Just a week ago, his parents told him that their relationship will never be normal and they will never be happy unless he breaks up with me. So he did. The thing that makes me the angriest is that he didn’t make this decision; he didn’t break up with me because he doesn’t love me.

Is this a normal occurrence? I feel so lost.

Voting Results
58% Normal
Based on 19 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • CozmoWank
    5 years ago

    Think of it as a blessing in disguise. If you married him his parents would be trying to run his/your life and be a constant source of agrevation.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    5 years ago

    Yeah. He told me he wished he had it in him to abandon them for me but he just can’t because he’s an only child and they have no one. Which makes me think they’ve emotionally manipulated him for a long time. I wouldn’t tolerate my parents treating any man i loved like that. They convinced him I wouldn’t be worth the aggravation and he bought it.

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    • Zeikfried
      5 years ago

      His loss. Your heart must be aching nonetheless. It will heal with time but right now it's going to hurt like a muthafucka

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  • Boojum
    5 years ago

    Just goes to show that there are prejudiced, narrow-minded people in every culture.

    I agree with the others who have said that you had a narrow escape. As much as what he did hurt and annoyed you, staying with him would have been even more painful and stressful.

    I think what he did is "normal" in the sense that family bonds and duties are taken much more seriously in India than they are in the West these days. There are positive things about that, but it's difficult for an American or European not to see it as smothering, manipulative, and exploitative.

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  • IrishPotato
    5 years ago

    His parents are awful people and he sounds like a wimp. Taking orders from his parents as an adult male, get outta here.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    5 years ago

    It's a good thing you broke up. Dating someone that has to rely on their parents to do the thinking for them is just a hassle.

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  • Xshot12
    5 years ago

    For once im proud of humanity. I myself am actually Indian and i was reading through the comments to see if anyone had posted anything racist or stereotypical and there is nothing.

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  • lordofopinions
    5 years ago

    In the east Indian culture arranged marriages are the norm. Did he ever mention a woman that his parents had chosen? A lot of times these arrangements are made when the couple are still children. They don't see each other until close to the wedding day.

    BUT having said that he should have grown a pair and told his parents that you were the chosen one. His parents could have accepted it or not. He has the choice if running his own life and not his parents tellin him what to do.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      He mentioned that his parents said he should get married soon but they hadn’t picked any one out yet, as they themselves had a love marriage 40 years ago. They are fine with him choosing as long as she’s Indian which I am obviously not.
      They told him it’s his choice but they didn’t like it the first time they had this conversation. This last time, they changed their minds and told him they can’t be happy if he’s with me and that he abused his freedom they gave him. Which made me feel really terrible. I felt even worse when he wouldn’t even attempt to stand up for me a second time. He was talking about getting married and all that serious stuff but ended it very quickly after his parents intervened. My other option was to move to India where his parents already told him that they and the extended family would never accept me and they didn’t want me there.

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  • rayb12
    5 years ago

    Yeah its normal.

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  • Zeikfried
    5 years ago

    Wish I could go to America and experience a wonderful love story like this. Damn it, diversity visa! One a side note, every girl deserves a guy who will fight back against anyone to keep her ❤

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