Is it normal my ex has destroyed me emotionally

I met this girl when I was 22 and she was 20, this was year 2011. We moved together in 2015 and got engaged in 2019. We were getting married in 2020, but we decided to postpone due to lockdowns and restrictions. In 2021 she got pregnant and I was overjoyed, we were finally going to start a family and my mind was racing years ahead planning family activities and even introducing the kid to console gaming (Nintendo specifically). We had talked multiple times in the past about kids and family and I knew that she would be as thrilled as me… Until I found out that she had a change of heart and that I couldn’t be more wrong.

August 2021
Me and her were quarreling daily as she wanted to abort the kid. I stood my ground and insisted that if she aborts it, we’re over as it’s my child, our child and he or she deserves to be loved. A couple of weeks later, we were officially over as she kept pulling the “the kid matters more than me” card and I stood my ground with “I care about both of you equally”.

The proposed resolution:
I knew she was going to abort the child, so I proposed that I will take full responsibility for the child. The child will live with me and I will raise the child on my own and cover all the expenses. I would sign a paper that she has 0 legal responsibilities for the child and that she will only get involved out of choice, not out of obligation. She would at any time be able to step up and be the mother the child deserves or have 0 responsibilities if she doesn’t want anything to do with the child.

Outcome:
She proceeded with aborting the child despite my persistent efforts to change her mind. This has completely destroyed me over the last year as it feels like I lost my family infront of my own eyes. This incident has empowered me to join politics to promote “Equalism”, which unlike “Feminism” doesn’t exclude men’s rights. We aim to erase inequality on both sides and work towards a brighter future, together.

I feel that it was wrong in so many ways that my opinion (as the father) about the abortion was completely disregarded. As a male, I don’t have a womb to carry the child in, but I was ready to carry him or her on my shoulders through life. My opinion should had mattered.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 7 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Yes, you should have had a say as the father and I'm sorry you didn't. Unless a woman is experiencing a pregnancy that could kill her, involved fathers should have a say in the abortion decision.

    As hard as it is to hear, you need to move on from her and find a new spouse. Then maybe have a family.

    I'm sorry for your loss.

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  • Pay someone to kill her. I would.

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  • Welcome to the myth of parental rights for men

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  • We are all powerless over people, places and things.

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  • She is going to hell.

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  • Why did she abort the baby?

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  • You could take action...i.e. contact your state and federal senators and join men's rights groups for father's issues. Become an advocate so your pain may nit have to affect someone else.

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