Is it normal my ex contacted me randomly and it has upset me a lot

I still love my ex.
We had good easy relationship but we were more like best friends because we never got intimate, I wasnt ready yet, he was dealing with his childhood trauma and mental health.
We helped each other a lot I made him more confident so he beat his social phobia and he made me happier person.

We broke up after he quit his meds which kept him stable.
He's not always nice without them and sometimes very manic.
Sometimes he's kind of a bully without them.
We stayed friends because he asked to. Hes anti-social as he copes with his feelings and trauma by cutting everyone off and moving around so I guess he wanted to stay friends because he felt comfortable with me more than others.

So we were best friends did everything together. I have not come so close to anyone else.
We fell out few years ago. Our feelings for each other kept coming back while we were both trying to move on especially him, and his moods were so bad sometimes he upset me a lot.
I tried to mend things but he was wanting to move on so I respected that. He always came through for me, he was good to me and he was honest. So I put up with the bad things too. Others didnt think I shouldve but they just dont understand hes really nice in his heart.

He texted me four months ago. I've since kept in touch sporadically but it's merely been disappointing because he shows zero interest in me. Tbf he doesn't seem to be doing great but I doubt that's the only reason. The last time we spoke he tried to sext me. He speaks to me nowadays like i'm a stranger like he doesnt even remember me which is impossible but honestly its made me wonder if hes forgotten me somehow and really im just very forgettable ? I dont know ?

I haven't texted him again. We were so close for the longest time i've felt a part of me is missing..I only stopped missing him mid last year then like he could sense it, he texted me.
He shouldve thought it through and decided if he wants to be in touch again. I have battled with depression lately so it's too much. It makes me more upset in life to hear from my first best friend only for him to act very disappointing towards me after everything we done and he was the only person i've ever been able to trust and count on.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 8 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • He sounds emotionally draining. Especially if you have your own issues you're dealing with. His hot & cold feelings would drive anyone nuts. My first girlfriend was like that. The situation just wasn't that healthy. It was hard but I just blocked her out of my life. Maybe you need to do the same and move on. For a relationship to work you need two people putting equal effort into it.

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  • Take it from someone who kept around a lot of toxic people because I tried to see the good in them (and really downplayed all of the bad) and felt sorry for them or like I could help them- don't keep someone in your life that is causing you this much grief. It is not worth it to set yourself on fire to keep others warm, and to allow him to come in and out of your life and mess with your emotions. He sounds unstable and like he isn't a healthy addition to your life.

    Just because he has the potential to be a good person doesn't mean he's good for you, or that he will continue down a good path. As you've said, he has what seem like pretty severe ups and downs, and you don't need to subject yourself to that.

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  • Have you tried blocking him?

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    • I dont want to because we are on good terms and I usually block people I dont really care but hes different from all other people so its hard for me

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  • He doesnt sound like the greatest catch anyway. Social phobia and goes off his meds. If you have mental problems yourself it would be better if you found someone without them.

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    • Social phobia is pretty far from what he tooks meds for but yeah I think its because he gets in episodes where he feels on top of the world and he then gets kind of paranoid he thinks everyones been making up that hes ill etc. Its not his fault and its common cycle with certain conditions like bipolar but yeah

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  • Is it possible you're addicted to him?

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  • It's normal ye're upset. That guy is emotionally unstable without his meds.

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