Is it normal lesbian couples fight over who gets to get pregnant?

I live in a very liberal state in the US. I noticed that lesbian couples who want kids don't even want to adopt kids. Instead they insist on passing on their own genetics and getting donated sperm. They will argue with each other over who gets to carry the baby for nine months. To them carrying the baby is special bonding time and getting to pass on genes is a need for them. They wind up breaking up if they can't decide who gets to carry the baby. I'm LGBT myself and don't quite get it. Is it normal?

Is It Normal?
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  • I've always found it strange that people treat a baby, a human being, as a desperate attempt to boost their reputation and vicariously extend their lives into the future. As if a person having similar genes to you is worth anything. Your legacy after you die is made up of all the good things you've done personally throughout your life, it doesn't extend into everything your children do. Even if it did though, it'd be the fact that you raised them to be that incredible that would count, not the fact that they have similar genes to you.

    Besides, even if your child did go on to become famous one day, people still wouldn't give a fuck about you, they'd only care about them. People would only ever remember you for being just the parent of ________, and you'd look worse when compared to them than if you were remembered for something small that you actually did.

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  • Ladies, ladies, please - I’ll do it

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  • It sounds like you’re just not interested in children or pregnancy which is completely understandable and valid, people have different life goals and values.

    Why would they break up over this when they could instead “take turns”? That sounds more like the final straw of a relationship wearing thin than the sudden death of one to me.

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  • It's not that uncommon for straight couples to break up because of conflicting opinions about whether or not they should have a child. Obviously, the dynamic between two women is different, but not _that_ different.

    Maybe the reason you don't get it is because you're just not interested in having a child? I don't know if it's a term that's known or commonly used in the States, but to use British slang, some women reach a point in their lives when they get very "broody": they gradually or suddenly feel an imperative need to reproduce. That feeling can cause all sorts of conflicts in the woman's head and chaos in her relationship.

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  • I never understood the genetics thing. My mother adopted my half siblings after their mother basically walked out on them and she saw them as nothing but her own kids. Idk if I sound like an asshole for this but it almost seems selfish in a way? I’m not sure.

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  • That's hilarious.

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  • No that's just petty.

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