Is it normal i wish i could redo my high school years?
For reference, my high school years were 2013-2017. I remember when I first started high school, it was something exciting and new. It felt like stepping into a whole new world in a way. It wasn’t a perfect year, but compared to what came next it was paradise!
The second year was a bit more difficult, but I had a close friendship with a girl, but long story short it didn’t go how I had hoped.
The third year was alright at first. Hard to explain, but I felt that since of newness over again, but I wasn’t entirely sure why.
The second half of that year was hell on earth for me. Anxiety went to unbelievable levels, and no one seemed to care. The teachers only made it worse.
Senior year was kinda the opposite. The first half felt like a continuation of the second half of junior year, but near the end it felt pretty easy going. I remember thinking to myself a few times by that point “I already did all the hard stuff, what am I still doing here?”
But I hate how my teachers acted like us being older somehow made us better, and you wouldn’t believe some of the awful things they said about younger kids. And pretty much every year, even the better ones, I had moments where I thought “this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me” only to be proven wrong the next year.
My fears and anxieties almost all originated here, and they still affect my life to this day. College was such a weird experience, it made me feel so behind.
I just want to go back to that new and exciting feel I had back in 2013, when it seemed like I’d be in high school for a while, and while I knew not everyone would get along, I didn’t expect the grades to be so hostile to one another, and most of all I didn’t expect the teachers to be the harshest ones.
I’m only slightly exaggerating when I say that the only good things that came from high school for me were things I did to cope with the bad. I knew it wasn’t really going to be like what it’s portrayed as on tv, but it really turned out nothing like how I expected or was being prepared for.
Sorry if this was long but I needed to get it out of my system.