Is it normal i sometimes wish i lived in my church?

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To take it one step further, I also sometimes wish I could have lived in my church and not be allowed to leave it, or at least it’s immediate area. I’m 20 years old, and pretty much my entire teenage years I’ve spent conflicted about my beliefs. I’ve heard a lot of good criticisms against Christianity, but I’ve also heard a lot of horror stories about visions of hell and demonic possession. I’m really not sure if I believe in God or not, but in all honesty, either way is kind of terrifying to me. If God is real, then I’m probably in big trouble, as I’ve done a lot of so called “sinful” things, but if he isn’t, then we basically came from nothing and there’s no afterlife (and I’m not sure why but the thought of nonexistence is REALLY terrifying to me).

I sometimes wish I could just have been forcefed the Christian dogma I grew up with and was never exposed to the criticism over time. Life was a lot simpler back then.

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Comments ( 2 )
  • D785
    4 years ago

    NO sin is too great for God's forgiveness. Just ask Him! He's awesome!

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  • Grunewald
    4 years ago

    It's important to hear the criticism - then you'll understand people better.

    Your relationship with God is between you and God. God isn't the Church. All I can personally conclude from the criticism of the church is that people are sinners - and that when followers of Jesus sin, it's ugly. Judas was one of the 12 - one of Jesus' closest followers. But Pilate sinned less spectacularly than Judas. Ananias was struck dead by God for lying about how much money he was giving to the church. But Herod wasn't struck dead for killing all the little boys in Egypt under 2 years of age in the hopes of catching the infant Jesus. The point is, Ananias should have known better than Herod. He knew Jesus and he saw miracles; he was around when the Holy Spirit came down in tongues of fire. Ananias and Judas were right there in the 1st generation of the early church. Fallibility is written into the church's DNA so we should expect to see it, and yes, when it sins, things get extremely ugly.

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